Quotes from Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks isn't so much their ignorance, as knowing so many things that ain't so.

We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do.

What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

[Science is] the literature of truth.

As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither.

As scarce as truth is the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.

It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.

Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.

Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you do hold well.

It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.

Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.

Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her nose all the time.

Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot.