Quotes from John Waters

Seeing a Fassbinder retrospective is better than drugs, liquor and sex put together.

How could you think of such awful things? liberal critics always ask. How else could I possibly amuse myself? I always wonder.

Her jaws are no match for this frightening pest, who, temporarily blinded in panic, begins biting her tongue with its tiny bloodsucking mouth.

I stand there sipping and savoring for over ten minutes, thinking of the man I read about who weighed six hundred pounds from drinking vast amounts of tap water.

John Waters Summer Camp

If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em.

I hated the Beatles when they first came out because they were so goddamn cheery. I didn't listen to popular music from 1964 until 1976, when I first heard the Sex Pistols. Finally a new antihippie sound that could piss off every musical legend that came first.

It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else

And no, the hit records of your generation are not better than today's. As soon as you stop listening to new music, your life is over. You are a fart.

I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal.

Stupid is never that entertaining. You can be stupid and sexy, stupid and funny but he's just plain stupid. That is not remarkable, that's what I mean.

If you purposefully look to shock people, it isn't funny. That's what 50 million dollar Hollywood comedies do ; try to be shocking and dirty.