Quotes from John Waters

I always was a weird child. My mother told me the story that, in kindergarten, I would come home and tell her about this weird kid in my class who drew only with black crayons and didn't speak to other kids. I talked about it so much that my mother brought it up with the teacher, who said, 'What? That's your son.'

Who have I been starstruck by in real life? One of the weirdest ones was, when we were making 'Cry-Baby,' David Nelson from 'The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet.' I couldn't believe he was sitting in my living room. Certainly Patricia Hearst. Tab Hunter. A lot of the stars I've worked with, when I first got them.

'Hairspray' maybe did change people's minds, and that's how you get your political enemies to change their minds - by making them laugh and making them look at something in a way they haven't seen it. Not by preaching and cutting them off and being a separatist.

My mother's brother became the undersecretary of the interior for Nixon, which did cause a little drama in my family because I was going to riots and everything, but he turned out great and gave us a nice cheque for an AIDS benefit we had for the 'Serial Mom' premiere.

My idea of an interesting person is someone who is quite proud of their seemingly abnormal life and turns their disadvantage into a career.

Without obsession, life is nothing.

Life is a rotten lottery. I've had a pretty amazing life, a good life, and God knows I'm thankful, but I do believe that after 30, stop whining! Everybody's dealt a hand, and it's not fair what you get. But you've got to deal with it.

If I made a film today, it would certainly be on digital.

I have so many other things going on that if 'A Dirty Shame' is my last movie, that's OK.

My dad saw 'A Dirty Shame.' I felt bad about my father knowing what 'felching' was.

Fellini was a little lofty for a teenage boy, but certainly he was a huge influence.

At my age, you can go either fat or gaunt. I've gone gaunt.

My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school.

I want to be in a 'Final Destination' movie.

'Serial Mom' tested really well when we finally got with the right audience. But they would go to some shopping mall in a deep, deep suburban L.A. neighborhood where they knew people would hate, and they just wanted to spend money to prove that people wouldn't like it. The movie was not a success when it came out.

True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

Life is a rotten lottery.

And my little sister Chrissy, for teaching me that life is nothing if you're not obsessed.

I've taught in prison; I've counseled people... I've been arrested; I've been to the psychiatrist.

Putting out compilation records, buying the right to music is incredibly complicated. You have to find the writer of the song and the publisher of the song - not the singer - and make two separate deals.

When I was young, there were bars called the 'Hungry Hole,' and in those same neighbourhoods are now gay people pushing baby carriages.

I like the elitism of the art world. I think art for the people is a terrible idea.

I like to cook for myself or others, so I cook. I always read at night. Sometimes I go to the movies. I don't go out wildly during the week.

I believe if you come out of a movie and the first thing you say is, 'The cinematography was beautiful,' it's a bad movie.