Quotes from Dorothy Parker

Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.

Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.

I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damned things.

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.

Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you

The best way to keep children home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere . . . and let the air out of the tires.

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.

If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.

Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. Three be the things I shall have till I die: Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.

If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Why is it no one ever sent me yetOne perfect limousine, do you suppose?Ah no, it's always just my luck to getOne perfect rose.

Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?

If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it.

Four be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them.

Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.

It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.