Quotes from Dorothy Parker

Where's the man could ease the heart Like a satin gown?

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

There was never a place for her in the ranks of the terrible, slow army of the cautious. She ran ahead, where there were no paths.

She realizes she doesn't know as much as God but feels she knows as much as God knew when he was her age.

Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this -- One of you is lying.

The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.

Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?

I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.

Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.

all men are the same age.

Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter.

I'm of the glamorous ladies At whose beckoning history shook. But you are a man, and see only my pan, So I stay at home with a book.

I like to have a Martini, Two at the very most— After three I'm under the table, After four I'm under my host.

Needle, needle, dip and dart, Thrusting up and down, Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown? See the stitches curve and crawl Round the cunning seams— Patterns thin and sweet and small As a lady's dreams.

Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.

[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.