Quotes from Derek Landy

Suddenly Saracen Rue looked old and tired, and Skulduggery Pleasant came into focus as what he really was – a genius, a killer, a tortured soul, and the only true dead man among them.

Oh my god you're thicker than you look

This girl (Stephanie) is but a few months away from her seventeenth birthday and already she has saved the world and killed a god. What have you done?

I used to be so good at that kind of thing," Skulduggery said quietly. "Well, my morale is certainly boosted," Valkyrie informed him. "Really?" "god no. That was terrible

Is that it?" "No. That's a wall." "It could be disguised." "You're not very good at looking for things, are you?" "I'm good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.

Even as she'd been writing it, she wondered if she was using too many exclamation marks, but she was glad she left them in. Nothing says "all is good in the world" like exclamation marks, after all.

You look angry," he said. "You put me on hold." "For a very good reason." "You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.

I cross the place where my heart used to be and hope to be even deader than I am now.

Hmmm... that's interesting.""What?""There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

I'm fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination

Kindness suits you." "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.

Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.

Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.' And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.

We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed. "Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs." "Really?" "Oh, yes." She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?" "They just are." "In what way?" "In a magicky way." She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?" "Not really.

What is it?' Stephanie whispered. 'That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.' She looked at Skulduggery. 'You don't know what it is, do you?' 'I told you what it is, it's a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.

Kindness suits you." "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.

The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think we are is at the core of our being. Are you a decent girl with the potential to someday become an evil monster, or are you an evil monster that thinks it's a decent girl?" "Wouldn't I know which one I was?" "Good God, no. The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.

I need a weapon," Valkyrie muttered. "You're an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world," Skulduggery pointed out. "I'm fairly certain that makes you a weapon." "I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick." "I'll buy you a stick for Christmas.

So that plan worked out well." "Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."' "All the same," he said, "I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.

It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -

There's no such thing as winning or losing. There is won and there is lost, there is victory and defeat. There are absolutes. Everything in between is still left to fight for. Serpine will have won only when there is no one left to stand against him. Until then, there is only the struggle, because tides do what tides do–they turn.