Quotes from Derek Landy

The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend - Skulduggery Pleasant.

Eventually, they decided that they wanted to

You dropped me in the penguin enclosure?... Now it makes sense," Valkyrie said, collapsing onto the couch. "My fear of zoos. My fear of penguins. My fear of being dropped in a zoo with the penguins. It's all Dad's fault.

The main difference between her and her friends was not the magic, she knew, and nor was it the adventure. It was the fact that she knew what she wanted to do with her life, and she was already doing it.

You'll know they've spotted us when they screech," Skulduggery told her. The creatures screeched.

A lot of things aren't wise, Melissa. Is crossing the road with your eyes closed wise? No, but I do it anyway.

The dream of peace, you understand, is a dream that comforts everyone except the soldier on the battlefield. He can't think about peace. He can't hesitate. The soldier lives in the war. In combat, war is his mother, his friend and his god. To believe in anything else is suicide.

I was changing my head. It feels good to have the old one back on. And now I have a spare, which is nice.

Everyone's in love with China." "Ah yes, but my love was stronger and true. I think she knew that, and I think, in her own way, she loved me as much as I loved her. Or loved Gordon as much as he loved . . . no, as much as I loved . . . she loved Gordon as much as I loved her. Or something." "Are . . . are you sure you're OK?" "Just having a small existential crisis, nothing to worry about.

If you can hit your opponent's nose more than he can hit yours, you too will taste victory.

Here lies Valkyrie Cain, who died heroically after falling of a train." At least it rhymed.

Finbar shook his head. "Nope, wouldn't call us friends, exactly. Associates, or . . . or . . . not colleagues, but . . . I mean, we know each other, like, but . . .

That's no dog," he said. "It looks like a monkey and a dog fell in love and had babies and this is the ugly one they didn't want.

Her reflection had hidden something from her. This, Valkyrie thought to herself, is probably not a good sign.

Have you ever heard the phrase, better to be bored than dead?

I'm afraid I can't let you take it. I could, you know, give you its big toe or something, as a keepsake, but that's about it.

Only a heathen would bring a gun to a swordfight." "And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.

My magic," Valkyrie said, looking at him. "Darquesse took my magic.

Take him to an Egyptian funeral parlour. They'll wrap him in bandages and put him in a sarcophagus and he'll be right as rain come Judgement Day." - Funeral director "Really?" - Scapegrace "No. Those idiots across the road paid you to come in here and waste my valuable time, didn't they?

I didn't think they even existed. They're in stories, in legends, and we have Dragon Eye jewels and dragon threads and dragon this and that, but no one ever seriously thought these things came from actual dragons. That would have been... ridiculous. - Skulduggery

And I order people around really well. This morning, Tipstaff came over with a cup of tea and I told him no, I don't want tea I want coffee. That was great. I really asserted my authority." "Did he go and get you a coffee?" "No, he said he'd already made of a pot of tea so I took the tea because, you know, he'd already made it, but my authority was still firmly asserted.

He was so strong," Francine sobbed. "So proud. So much dignity. How did he die?" "Wood chipper," said Valkyrie.

He stepped on it. Squished it. Squashed it. Killed it. Cut it down in its prime. It kicked the bucket, turned up its toes, shuffled off this mortal coil. It was... an ex-rabbit." "He's a dangerous man, your father." "The baby better learn to dodge.

So I've been in a coma for... how long?" "A year and a half." Melancholia's eyes widened. "What? A year and a half? What the hell?