Quotes from Eoin Colfer

Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you.

These headsets could pick up a spider scratching in Madagascar." "And is there a spider scratching in Madagascar?" "Well … I don't know. They can't really—

Red was smiling back at me. "Ok. I'm not in trouble. But tell me your heart didn't start beating for the first time in a month." I couldn't deny it. So I didn't.

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.

That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart.

Being part of a secret is a great source of strength.

Confidence is ignorance," advised the centaur. "If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

Good man, Foaly." He grinned. "Hit that backstabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.

You know as well as I do that fortune never sends the best-case scenario our way You have way too much bad karma.

It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice.

There's nothing more dangerous than a short guy with something to prove.

Orion to holly : im just a teenager with hormones running wild. And may i say young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction

Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?

One loose rivet or cracked weld line would have been enough to allow a few atmospheres to squirt out, and the ship would have been crushed like a soda can in the hand of a giant who was immensely strong and didn't like soda cans.

Hey," snapped Holly. "This is not the time to blame Artemis." "Thank you," said Artemis. "Finally." "There will be plenty of time to blame Artemis later, when this is resolved.

It can play solitaire and minesweeper," replied Artemis innocently.

Certain battles were won by retreating.

Mulch was not impressed. "I'm not impressed

Artemis took a chance on some calculated sarcasm. "Really, Spiro. Did you think I would attempt a break-in? Perhaps you thought I would fly in here with my fairy friends and magic your box away?" Spiro laughed. "You can bring all the fairy friends you like, Arty-boy. Short of a miracle that Cube is staying right where it is.

The thought of revenge always gave her a warm fuzzy feeling.

knock yourself out...Or rather don't

Doubts assuaged, Butler returned to his copy of Guns & Ammo, leaving his employer to unravel the secrets of the universe.

to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard

Sounded like girls. Mixed feelings on that score. He didn't despise them with the same passion he used to. In fact, Benny suspected that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when he might develop a mysterious interest in them.