Quotes from Eoin Colfer

Si gano, soy un genio. Si pierdo, estoy loco. Así es como se escribe la historia.

I'm sorry, Arty,' she whispered into his ear. 'Sorry for what?' 'For everything. For the last few months, I haven't been myself. But things are going to change. Time to stop living in the past.' Artemis felt a tear on his cheek. He wasn't sure whose tear it was.

Fowl and fairy, friends forever.

You didn't foresee a troll-riding dwarf pushing your plane down the runway. You must be losing your touch, Artemis." He

Butler shot one of the half dozen diners a fierce glare, just in case she might be planning something. The woman must have been at least eighty.

Sometimes being a genius was a burden.

She strode across the McGraney boundary without a backward glance, legs cutting twin swatches in the green-black grass. Dawn sunlight simmered on the tip of each blade, and Holly's passage set a surging ripple of light flashing across the meadow. Extraordinary, thought Artemis. What have I lost?

Excuse me, Tex, the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn't want the first sound they hear to be your painful howling. There could be lawsuits.

Make it fast, you shower of stinking rabbit droppings, I've got a fresh blade that I'm just itching to test!

Pizza, pizza, Fill up your face, The thicker the pastry, The better the base!

The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.

They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enlightened.

Some people just needed to be stolen from.

Hogwarts, it is not, thought the Doctor, realising that no one would appreciate this reference for almost a century.

D'Arvit!" growled Root. (There is no point translating that word, as it would have to be censored.)

Punching - 2 shillings Both eyes blacked - 4 shillings Nose and jaw broke - 10 shillings Jacked out (knocked out with a blackjack) - 15 shillings Ear chewed off - same as previous Leg or arm broke - 19 shillings Shot in leg - 25 shillings Stab - same as previous Doing the Big Job - 3 pounds and up

Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisition, here-comes-the-Hindenburg bad kind of history.

No one's ever really ready for a troll.

Whatever their circumstances, people still had to eat, live, and love.

Wasn't there a plasma cannon back here somewhere?" "No. You donated that to the orphanage." Foaly did not waste time wondering why he would have donated a plasma cannon to an orphanage but instead kept digging through the junk in the van.

It felt like my teeth were sweating. Eoin Colfer's The Legend of Spud Murphy

What a peach of a night this had turned out to be. Everett fucking Moreau: master planner. Like that little French guy who used to get with tall ladies to prove a point. Napoleon. But not like him at all, except for they both ended up fucked on an island, if he didn't misremember his history. Or maybe it was Huck Finn who got fucked on an island. Either way, he was the idiot getting fucked on a water-locked landmass this fine evening.

Artemis had once seen Holly get into a fistfight with another elf who said her hair looked pretty, because she thought he was being sarcastic, as she was sporting a fresh crew cut on that particular day. Holly didn't go on many dates. Holly

Artemis was propped on his elbows. You hit me, he said in disbelief.