Quotes from Eoin Colfer

Are you an angel or a devil, sir? I need to know. Are you taking me up or down?

Pex and Chips were closer now, discussing the merits of various fictional characters. 'Captain Hook rocks,' said Pex. 'He would kick Barney's purple butt ten times out of ten.' Chips sighed. 'You're missing the whole point of Barney. It's a values thing. Butt-kicking is not the issue.

I know what the Book says," snapped Root. "I just wish you weren't so gung ho about it. If I didn't know you better, I'd say there was some human blood in you." "There's no call for that," pouted Cudgeon. "I'm only doing my job." "Point taken," conceded the commander. "I'm sorry." You didn't often hear Root apologizing, but then it had been a deeply offensive insult.

Root stood on the doorstep, palms up, the universal gesture for Look, I'm not carrying a big murderous weapon.

She ran a quick search on Wicca-pedia and came across a brief summary:

Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your back. Then I can make a few pennies with my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby." This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.

Mona began firing with deadly accuracy, also with a stream of Spanish words that Cosmo suspected were not taught in kindergarten.

Butler had an excuse for not being in Iceland that would hold up in any court of law and possibly even on a note for teacher.

And was his conscience not needling him, leeching some of the sweetness from his victory?

it's always darkest before the dawn." Artemis looked at her. "What dawn? We're in the Arctic, remember?

I always thought my intellect would keep me alive, but now I shall be killed by my own baby brother with a rock. The ultimate sibling rivalry.

That's what I thought. When I looked that human in the face, I figured he was either a genius or crazy.' Artemis's cool eyes glared at them from the screen. 'So which is it?' asked Foaly. 'A genius or crazy?' Root grabbed his tri-barreled blaster from the gun rack. 'What's the difference?' he snapped, strapping his trusty weapon to his hip.

And humans will accept any story, however outlandish, when there's something in it for them. Preferably something green that folds.

She cast her eyes toward the heavens. "Help," she cried. And it began to rain diamonds.

he dragged her like a string of cans behind the wedding car

When Holly Short had opened the door of her makeshift basement cell, she had found her helmet bouncing on the spot in front of her with a 3-D image of Foaly's face projected onto it. "That is really creepy

Mortals, screw 'em.

Holly. In the name of all the gods, stop shooting energy into all-energy beings. Just how stupid are you? The bots quivered and meshed, growing larger and more aggressive.

In dieser Nacht würde Geschichte geschrieben. Und es war nicht die erhebende Art von Geschichte wie bei der Entdeckung der Radioaktivität oder dem ersten Mann auf dem Mond, sondern die finstere Art à la spanische Inquisition oder Absturz der Hindenburg. Finster für Menschen und Unterirdische. Finster für alle.

The Brill brothers fled to the cockpit, trying to simultaneously bow, look at their feet, not think anything dangerous, and above all, not pass wind.

The universe has certain rules. Among them are: He who owns a sharp tool will eventually cut himself. And: Laboratory accidents never result in super-hero-type powers. And most applicable in this case: He who laughs first gets caught. The first rule could be, at a stretch, applied to Tony Stark and the Iron Man suit, considering recent events. One notable exception to the second rule was currently swinging around New York City on a spider web, which did not bear thinking about.

Swear toads infested every damp patch, cursing like sailors.

Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.

I am exactly the right age for this project," said Minerva. "I'm young enough to believe in magic and old enough to understand how it works.