Quotes from Eoin Colfer

Holly, I wish you wouldn't appear like that. I'm a bodyguard. I get jumpy.

Sie haben diesen Mistkerl genau da erwischt, wo es wehtut: bei seinem Ehrgeiz.

That's the problem with being a semi-reformed criminal: you are never free from guilt. Exposure is always just a phone call away.

I don't trust any of you.

I don't know what to believe, or who to trust.

one centimeter can make an awful lot of difference when you don't have many to spare.

Butler struggled from a tiny fairy chair. "Right, enough talk. I think it's time Mister Vassikin was introduced to my friend, Mister Fist.

I'm just a teenager with hormones running wild. And may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.

She had never heard Artemis sound so warm, so sincere. Usually emotional displays were difficult for the boy and he stumbled through them awkwardly. This wasn't like him at all.

Friendship is not a science, Mud Boy. Forget about your massive brain for one minute. Just do what you feel is right.

THE BOOKE OF THE PEOPLE. BEING INSTRUCTIONS TO OUR MAGICKS AND LIFE RULES.

There was another thought, more persistent than the rest. It crashed into his mind like a tsunami: I have friends. Thought Artemis Fowl the Second.

Careful with that, said the Doctor. No need to get carried away. Aldridge spun the scalpel like a baton. Yessir. Careful is my middle name. Actually Clumsy is my middle name, but that doesn't encourage clients and it makes me sound like one of those dwarfs that are going to be so popular when moving pictures a get going.

Vern did a comical double take. He hadn't thought about little Jubelus in a long time. And no human had ever prompted him to talk about his own family. It was all: Can you grant me wishes? Or: For the love of God don't kill me.

The cow spat. "What are you going to do? Not eat me?" "That's right. I won't eat you and I won't eat your entire family. Wherever they hide, I'll find them and not eat a single bite.

which was a bit like a mouse chasing a cat, a giant mutant cat with laser eyes and a bellyful of smaller spiteful cats.

suplexed a particularly impudent pizza boy. The suplex, Artemis gathered, was a wrestling move. An unusual obsession for a teenage girl. But then again she was, after all, a Butler.

When it had all become too much for the pixie, her brain had simply shut down, all except the most vital functions. She still breathed, and occasionally the monitors registered a dream spike in her brainwaves. But other than that, for all intents and purposes, Opal Koboi was no more.

Any of these vultures smell weakness, and they'll mess you up faster than sugar in a gas tank.

Everyone nodded. Technically it was correct, as they did know it now.

The lucky ones hit partitions and went straight through. The unlucky ones collided with solid cinderblock walls. Things broke. Not the cinderblocks

The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud People seemed more concerned about the past than the present.

When you decide to die, Artemis thought sluggishly, it doesn't matter how many people want to kill you.

As the clinic's janitors, it had been a simple matter for Merv and Scant to plant the acid balloons the previous evening. Of