Quotes from Eoin Colfer

We lost the crickets.

How could you...? How? Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your lead. ... He is really going through with it. No, She managed. There is no other way.

You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart." Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.

Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.

When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

this was business.

Of course I saved you, she said. I couldn't do without you. And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.

Satan was crouched in the corner of his office, playing a gameboy, 'Die alien scum' he was saying feverishly..

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you... ... What is it? [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. Yeah, agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. Why am I an imbecile?

Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.

Tea? At the beach? No time for luxuries, Holly. There is important work to be done." He winked at Butler. "Are you sure you're at the library? I thought I heard water." Artemis smiled, enjoying the exchange. "Water? Surely not. The only thing flowing here is information." "Are you grinning, Artemis? For some reason I get the feeling that you're wearing that smug smile of yours.

That will be her undoing, gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. Artemis Fowl will never be secondary . I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second? said Holly.

That was all he said, except for Aaaeerrgghhh. Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed Aaaeerrgghhh was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.

As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.

I don't know why it is, Captain Short, but whenever you start agreeing with me, I get decidedly nervous.

Why can't I solve this problem by killing someone? she though petulantly, then comforted herself with the mantra that had kept her going in prison: Soon all the humans will be dead, she said, droning in the time-honored fashion of gurus everywhere. And then Opal will be loved. And even if I'm not loved, she thought, at least all the humans will be dead.

Just what we need, moaned Holly. Artemis Fowl with magical powers.

Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?

I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.

Perhaps we can win, he thought. But there will be no happy ending

So, let's make a deal: If you do not voice all the withering comments about the weight or uselessness of this jacket that are no doubt swirling in that big brain of yours, then I will not mention the super-laser episode again. Agreed? This jacket is really cutting into my shoulders, thought Artemis. And it's so heavy that I could not outrun a slug. But he said, Agreed.

Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying.

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.