Quotes from Craig Johnson

I looked at her, looking being one of my better law-enforcement techniques.

He didn't sound particularly drunk, but Bob's a professional, so you never can tell.

You do have one prejudice though. I looked back at her again from under the brim of my hat. "You don't care about the living as much as you do the dead.

Dog's ears went up at the word "ham": they say dogs have a vocabulary of about twenty words, and I was pretty sure that seventeen of Dog's were ham.

I sometimes think that it's not our enemies that we resent in life, but rather friends we have who stood quietly by and did nothing.

looking at the piles around us—they were like literary land mines just waiting to explode minds.

Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.

I've done some crazy things in my life, but asking women their age isn't one of them.

There were clouds at the mountains, and the snow pack reflected the sour-lemon sun into one of the most beautiful and perverse sunsets I had ever seen. The clouds were dappled like the hindquarters of an Appaloosa colt, and the beauty kicked just as hard.

Maybe he was what Lucian would have turned out to be if the old sheriff hadn't have lived in such interesting times. A couple of years in a Japanese prison camp might be just what Turk needed. But I didn't have a bridge over the river Kwai for him to build so we had to settle for Powder Junction.

I have found in most relationships with women it is best to remember their birthdays but forget their age.

There's a kind of cocksure attitude that overtakes a man in the presence of the dearly departed, a you're-dead-and-I'm-not kind of perspective.

I took a sip of my coffee, sat the folder on the counter, and began reading the newspaper. "In the cold, gray dawn of September the twenty-eighth . . ." Dickens. ". . . The slippery bank where the life of Cody Pritchard came to an ignominious end . . ." Faulkner. "Questioning society with the simple query, why?" Steinbeck. "Dead." Hemingway. Ernie

I thought about Vic being rich. She already had the fuck-you attitude; fuck-you money might be too much.

The Moretti women had a smile like they were going to eat you...and you'd like it.

I hung up, figuring that if this was the last three minutes of my life, I didn't want to spend them extraordinarily annoyed.

it was not what you did in this life that you regretted, but the opportunities you allowed to pass you by.

In a perfect cinematic world we would've captured the bad guys in spectacular fashion with explosions, car chases, and a parting kiss. She would've been played by Ava Gardner, and I would've been played by Robert Taylor. I looked at her. "I was wrong." She looked back at me, and I could feel her eyes on the side of my face.

Sometimes it was like that, I suppose; some people become so important in your life that they're almost like a trademark, but then they're gone. Sometimes they might reappear, but they're nothing at all like what you've assembled in your mind since their departure; sometimes you can't even stand them anymore, because they break up the legend and nothing dies harder than a good, personal legend.

You will stand and see the good, but you will also stand and see the bad—the dead shall rise and the blind will see.

Some fires can't bear to dampen and can provide heat even from the distance of time. As

Kind of like the tree that falls in the forest when nobody's around? I mean, if nobody remembers the history, did it still happen?

This is how it ends with everyone. You fall—you don't get back up.

In my life, I have been kicked by horses and bitten by them. I've been stepped on, crushed against gates, and thrown to the ground, but I have also been nuzzled, rubbed against, carried by, nickered at, and warmed by the great beasts. I thought of all the horses I'd known and couldn't think of a bad one.