Quotes from Craig Johnson

everything to do with women is foolish and, therefore, absolutely essential.

I watched as the silver Mercedes without snow tires made its way up Fetterman taking a right on Aspen and thought about a man who had escaped the concentration camps and now drove a German car. The Hun be damned.     I

Life is like that." He flipped through a few more limp pages. "You collect things as you go—the things you think are important—and soon they weigh you down until you realize that these things you cared so much about mean nothing at all. Our natures are our natures." He grunted. "And they are all we are left with.

He's dead, Walt. Like you always say, 'Buried in a shallow grave and shit off a cliff by a coyote.

Oh heart! Oh blood that freezes, blood that burns! Earth's returns For whole centuries of folly, noise and sin! Shut them in, With their triumphs and their glories and the rest! Love is best.     "Love Among the Ruins," Robert Browning, 1885

Her fingers were cool, and her palms were strangely devoid of any lines, as if her life was yet to be determined.

They have a saying, the Basque. That just because the cat has kittens in the oven, it doesn't make them biscuits.

If you pull it, use it, if you use it, use it to kill.

All the important promises are about leaving or not leaving.

Like all true horse's asses, he hoped to go into politics.

I thought about how we tilled and cultivated the land, planted trees on it, fenced it, built houses on it, and did everything we could to hold off the eternity of distance—anything to give the landscape some sort of human scale. No matter what we did to try and form the West, however, the West inevitably formed us instead.

When I hired him I told him two things: no man has any sense till age thirty-five and damn few afterwards . . ." "Amen to that, and the other?" "Never go after a man to arrest him unless you are certain you are legally right, but then arrest him or die.

The door closed, and he was gone into the twilight of early evening like an afterthought.

depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. —Albert Camus

I always wondered about men who spent their time trying to anticipate and know a fish in a world where man's knowledge of each other could only be called scarce. It just seemed to be gratuitously ignorant for any man to think that he could think like a fish.

Like some strange little religion all its own, the one thing that makes the whole system work is the one thing that it robs you of - faith.

We are finite beings; how can we understand the infinite?

As the saying goes, a cynic is the man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

I thought about the damage we all did in life simply by being ourselves and getting up in the morning.

There wasn't anything more to say, so I didn't. That's the thing about comforting—it's almost more important to know when not to talk.

In my culture, animals are celebrated as beautiful, mysterious, powerful, dangerous, and benevolent. There was a period, before we lost the ability to listen, when the animals took pity on us, protected and taught us to the point where they became human in times of need. (Henry Standing Bear)

You know the difference between an asshole and an anus?" He spoke from the side of his mouth. "What's that?" "An anus can't say 'that went well.

I've seen men ruined by drink, drugs and dodge pickup trucks, but this is the first time I've seen someone ruined by softcore porn...

His face remained immobile as he shut the door and walked back against the traffic. "No, they are not." Dog immediately jumped into the