Quotes from Gary L. Thomas

start these conversations with questions that seek understanding, not with accusations that seek submission

If we live without an eternal perspective, earthly trials become larger than life. Without the hope of heaven or the sense of the importance of a growing character and refinement, there is nothing to prepare for, nothing to look forward to; it is like practicing and practicing but never getting to actually play a game. Life gets boring, tedious, and tiresome.

Christianity doesn't make much sense without the reality of heaven.

If we are seeking glory, honor, and immortality before God, the road to get there is daily and quiet persistence, faithfulness, and obedience.

I may not receive any new insights and God may not feel particularly close. This has taught me that the demand for spiritual experience can be as gluttonous as the desire for food, money, or sex. Desire for spiritual highs needs to be contained so that we can develop other parts of our being.

Men who are filled with the Spirit—they are alive to God, and God is active in them—and men who are full of wisdom. You won't regret making a choice founded on that basis.

Getting fit can be an arduous, even painful process; living fit is filled with much joy.

Racism, prejudice, dishonesty, laziness, gluttony, materialism, selfishness—all these grow more unpleasant the longer you have to accommodate them. If you're already tired of having to excuse your partner of one (or certainly several) of these, you're going to have a tough time when it comes to marital satisfaction twenty years from now.

Though pursuing holiness seems to be—and, in fact, is—a noble aim, and wanting to experience greater depth in holiness appears to be—and, in fact, is—a godly pursuit, it's possible that our desire for increased growth may be fueled by pride, ambition, and self-interest—and our attitude as we wait is often the best indicator of what our true motivation is.

If we think that serving God always leads to greater prosperity, we're selectively reading our Bibles.

The best way for me to live this out is to keep asking myself, 'What is my love for my wife costing me?' If the answer is 'nothing,' then I'm not loving my wife as Christ loved the church.

The first purpose in marriage — beyond happiness, sexual expression, the bearing of children, companionship, mutual care and provision, or anything else — is to please God.

Christianity doesn't leave us in an apathetic stupor; it raises us and our relationships from the dead! It pours zest and strength and purpose into an otherwise wasted life.

Jesus's teachings direct us to make a decision that will lead to righteousness—to seek someone who will inspire us toward godliness, who will confront us when we go astray, who will forgive us when we mess up, who can encourage us with wisdom when we are uncertain about how to proceed.

Jesus never told us to erase our ambition. Jesus never said to shun all thought of rewards. He told us to turn from earthly ambition and to shun earthly rewards. He said in effect, "Put yourself last here on earth, and in heaven you'll be first." That's a trade, not a complete denial! That thirst for glory you feel in your heart is part of what makes you human. Jesus just wants us to focus it on heaven, looking for our rewards there.

Perhaps you reject Plato's soul-mate line of thinking but have developed a "Christian alternative," something along the lines of finding the one person whom God created "just for you.

If you have an extra shirt to give to a toxic person, be kind. If you can give to a difficult individual without taking time away from a reliable individual, go for it. But if your investment of time and money keeps you from fulfilling your ministry and fighting your own battles, including investing in other reliable people, it's time to reevaluate. It's time to say no—even to your children.

When you entered this relationship of marriage, you committed to keep moving toward your spouse. Any step back, any pause, any retreat, is an act of fraud. Learn to move toward the person God has given to you for the purpose of teaching you how to love.

Someone else's action can't dictate our response. God sent his Son into a world that hated him. If God had waited for the world to be worthy to receive him, his Son would never have come.

Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life, as something lower than a storm of emotion.8

The best thing you can do to witness to a toxic person is stay focused on your task, refuse to be distracted or play their games, pray instead of gossip, and then get the work done. Find the reliable people God has called you to invest in. Accomplish the task that you know to be urgent. Then

it's clear that God didn't create women to be passive victims waiting to be saved by men.

It is a sophisticated spiritual challenge to not compare your spouse's weakness with another spouse's strength.

Franciscan priest Richard Rohr writes, "I am most quoted for this line: 'If you do not transform your pain, you will always transmit it.' Always someone else has to suffer because I don't know how to suffer; that is what it comes down to.