Quotes from Gary L. Thomas

Rejecting the notion that God creates one person just for us doesn't discount the reality that God can lead us toward someone and help us make a wise choice when we seek Him in prayer.

would not consider any spirituality worthwhile that wants to walk in sweetness and ease and run from the imitation of Christ."3

The desire for ease, comfort, and stress-free living is an indirect desire to remain an "unseasoned," immature Christian. Struggle makes us stronger; it builds us up and deepens our faith.

Ascetics are "strict" only because they want to reserve a major portion of their lives for their passionate pursuit of God.

It is this strict side of the ascetic's life that is perhaps the least understood, not only by our culture, but also by other Christians. Especially among evangelicals, who champion salvation by grace through faith, a strict faith can seem perilously close to legalism; and in some cases, it might be. For healthy ascetics, however, strictness is a cherished method of expressing love for God.

Sin never seems quite as shocking when it is known only to us; when we see how it looks or sounds to another, it is magnified ten times over.

We're not married in a carefree garden of Eden; we're married in the midst of many responsibilities that compete for our energy.

Marriage is the greatest test in the world . . . but now I welcome the test instead of dreading it. It is much more than a test of sweetness of temper, as people sometimes think; it is a test of the whole character and affects every action. T. S. Eliot

We must never be naive enough to think of marriage as a safe harbor from the fall . . . The deepest struggles of life will occur in the most primary relationship affected by the fall: marriage."5

Imagine the power of reading a psalm at age eighty that you read daily in your thirties. Rituals can tie our years together with

Our souls are wired for what we will never enjoy until Eden is restored in the new heaven and earth. We are built with a distant memory of Eden."6

This segregation has erected denominational walls and impoverished many Christians. Unless you happen to be born into just the right tradition, you're brought up to feed on somebody else's diet.

This is a tremendously spiritually therapeutic process, an emptying of myself so I can grow more in my love for others.

The key question is this: Will we approach marriage from a God-centered view or a man-centered view? In a man-centered view, we will maintain our marriage as long as our earthly comforts, desires, and expectations are met. In a God-centered view, we preserve our marriage because it brings glory to God and points a sinful world to a reconciling Creator.

The truth is, we want to be known; we truly do. But we're afraid. If you see the real me, will you run away? Am I even worth being known? Will the real me bore you? Scare you? Repulse you? And so we hide.

If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there's no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can't imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you'd never have to face otherwise.

A good marriage isn't something you find; it's something you make.

Just when we are most eager to make ourselves understood, we must strive to understand. Just when we seek to air our grievances, we must labor to comprehend another's hurt. Just when we want to point out the fallacies and abusive behavior of someone else, we must ruthlessly evaluate our own offensive attitudes and behaviors.

Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over—expectations, or thanksgivings.

A heavyweight boxing champion who dodges all serious contenders to consistently fight marshmallows is derided and ridiculed—and rightly so. Christians who dodge all serious struggle and consciously seek to put themselves in whatever situations and relationships are easiest are doing the same thing—they are coasting, and eventually that coasting will define them and—even worse—shape them.

The church must not teach the submission of wives apart from the sacrificial love and servanthood required of husbands.

Giving respect is an obligation, not a favor; it is an act of maturity, birthed in a profound understanding of God's good grace.

women, if you simply follow your feelings, you are more likely to fall in love with a guy who will thrill you for twelve to eighteen months as a boyfriend and then frustrate you for five to six decades as a husband. Guys, on the other hand, are more inclined to experience romantic love with women they are attracted to physically, yet physical appearance is the thing most likely to change in a person's life.

We are told to seek first the kingdom of God, not seek first marriage.