Quotes from Gary L. Thomas

It wasn't easy. In junior high, I was voted "most polite," and it took some time for me to realize that being perceived as a "nice guy" and being a faithful Christian don't always go hand in hand.

Chapter 13 offers a biblical view on how evil infects every good thing that God has created on this planet. That sets us up for chapter 14, where Jesus tells us that our allegiance to his spiritual family takes precedence over our allegiance to our blood family of origin.

Getting married is agreeing to grow together, into each other, to virtually commingle our souls so that we share a unique and rare bond. When we stop doing that, we have committed fraud against our partner; we made a commitment we're not willing to live up to. GETTING MARRIED IS AGREEING TO GROW TOGETHER, TO COMMINGLE OUR SOULS SO THAT WE SHARE A UNIQUE AND RARE BOND.

I am dedicated to the preservation of my marriage's unity.

chapter 21 teaches us to be less toxic toward ourselves.

Marriage isn't about rights as much as it is about revelation.

I had envisioned that this would be a short book, about half of what it has become. Once I opened up the Scriptures, however, it was like the glaciers melted and the dams overflowed, and I had to ride the rivers way downstream. I hope you enjoy and learn from the ride.

One can do many external deeds of love and still hold back the really precious gift, the inner self. This gift can be given only through communication.

We have a duty to meet our spouse in their need. Correspondingly, we also have a Christian duty not to demand too much of our spouse.

We are most happy when we are most focused on serving God together.

A Christian is never dependent on the response of others to grow spiritually. It's our own heart's decisions that matter.

A husband who truly loves his wife will want to see her grow in Christlike purity. A wife who truly loves her husband will want to see him grow in godliness. Out of true love, both will put growth in godliness above affluence, public opinion, or personal ease.

The grand point is not to wear the garb, nor use the brogue of religion, but to possess the life of God within, and feel and think as Jesus would have done because of that inner life. Small is the value of external religion unless it is the outcome of a life within. Charles Spurgeon

We're not called to judge our spouses—ever; we are called to love them. We are not called to recount their failures in a Pharisaic game of "I'm holier than you"; we're called to encourage them. We are not called to build a case against them regarding how far they fall short of the glory of God; we are called to honor and respect them.

Never look to other couples to measure your worth; look to God to fulfill your call.

We've let selfish and sinful attitudes poison our thoughts and lead us into shameful behaviors, and suddenly all we want is out.

becoming fixated on something you can't now undo. That's what forgiveness and grace are for — a fresh start, a new beginning. God offers grace precisely for the reason that he wants to forgive us. He is eager to forgive us so we can start afresh and live a new meaningful life in service to him from this point on.

Never look to other couples to measure your worth; look to God to fulfill your call. Don't compare yourself with other couples to measure your happiness; compare your obedience with God's design on your life to measure your faithfulness.

It's not selfish for you to want to be who God created you to be, and it's not selfish for you to do what God created you to do

When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one. Helen Rowland

That old love was dead. But it represented my commitment before the Lord — the One before whom I said, 'Till death do us part.

When a loved one dies, when a friend moves away, when something in our life changes, we can choose to thank God for the joy he gave us in the past, or we can wallow in misery over the joy we think we will be denied in the future. The choice is ours.

Spiritual purpose and mission can overcome weaknesses in character because God redeems our characters...

Just as viewing my marriage through the lens of a pathway toward holiness more than happiness gave me renewed motivation to grow in union with my wife and ongoing motivation to keep pursuing deeper intimacy with her, so understanding my body as an instrument of service to God is giving me renewed motivation to take better care of it in the face of my cravings and laziness.