Quotes from Gary L. Thomas

How often do we Christians "take the Lord's name in vain" during our worship? It matters to God if we lie, even if we're singing, and even if everybody around us is singing the same thing. Music can make us feign a commitment that just isn't there, causing us to become callous, insincere believers.

getting married won't make you happy or an adult; getting married simply makes you … married.

None of us can live up to the law; all of us will break it. Marriage teaches us — indeed, it practically forces us — to learn to live by extending grace and forgiveness to people who have sinned against us. If I can learn to forgive and accept my imperfect spouse, I'll be well equipped to offer forgiveness outside my marriage. Forgiveness, I'm convinced, is so unnatural an act that it takes practice to perfect it.

You have to understand before you can respect, and you have to respect before you can fully love. This is a tremendously spiritually therapeutic process, an emptying of myself so I can grow more in my love for others.

Individual acts don't make a person toxic; toxic describes someone who feels comfortable in those acts and energized by those acts and who makes those acts the common approach to their relationships.

Infatuation fills your eyes with what you're getting, but let the Bible fill your mind with what you're committing to give.

the picture of marriage as God intended it to be — two equals, albeit different, completely and wholly serving the other person as though they are greater than themselves, thus creating not a male-female power struggle over who is more worthy, but a harmony that reflects the character of God in the Trinity and the ministry of reconciliation in the world.

As it pertains to you and me, let's admit we can't reach everyone, so let's invest our time in the reliable people we can reach. Find out who is toxic to you, consider walking away, and entrust them to God.

The person who understands the evil in his own heart is the only person who is useful, fruitful, and solid in his beliefs and obedience. Others only delude themselves and thus upset families, churches, and all other relationships. In their self-pride and judgment of others, they show great inconsistency.

In a mixed egalitarian/complimentarian marriage, both the husband and wife will likely treat each other according to their perceived sense of marital duties, but those duties won't be received as such. They'll be resented....people who disagree on this issue can still worship the same God, but it will be difficult for them to raise the same kids or operate the same household.

Marriage creates a situation in which our desire to be served and coddled can be replaced with a nobler desire to serve others — even to sacrifice for others.

I believe God designed marriage, in part, to "pinch our feet." Both men and women need to have their pride assaulted. All of us, men and women alike, if we are to become like Christ, must, by definition, learn to become servants. And marriage gives us the opportunity to do just that.

life is richest when you give each moment of each day to God with the prayer, "Let me receive your love and pour it out on these people so that I can represent you every minute of the day.

The assumption is that loving their husbands is an unnatural skill that wives must learn — better yet, we could describe it as a supernatural skill.

Paul urges us to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This puts prayer on a far higher plane than mere intercession. It marks prayer as the heart of our devotion, the constant awareness of God's presence, our consistent submission to his will, and our frequent expressions of adoration and praise.

Some use the label toxic much too broadly as an excuse to avoid difficult, different, or hurting people.

Occasional acts of dramatic service like this can go such a long way — not only in cementing intimacy as a couple, but in reminding the spouse who does the giving that to know Christ is to know service; to become like Christ is to become like a servant; to follow Christ is to follow the way of service.

So many marriages are filled with resentment, but voluntary acts of service can be the quickest way to replace resentment with love. When we act in service with godly motives, resentment suffocates and dies. It is only when we see that our pride and selfishness are the greatest barriers to our joy (rather than our spouse's sins or shortcomings) that our marriages will fully express the character of Christ.

The marriage relationship allows us to experientially identify with God and his relationship with Israel.

Even so, whenever the biblical model is superseded and a woman or man becomes a mom or dad first instead of a wife or husband first, the marriage suffers—very often irretrievably.

When you sexually reconnect, you feel the effects of this neurochemical cement. Learning to disregard this cement (which you must eventually do to break things off) will undercut the positive effects it has in marriage. You must train yourself to ignore what God created you to pay attention to.

Here's what I've come to terms with in regard to mission: My first goal in life isn't to defend me. What someone thinks about me won't impact their future spiritual destiny.

fleeting fun. This is the kind of love celebrated in most movies, novels, television programs, and songs. You've been conditioned to value it above all else and have been told that it's the only "authentic" love.

Lord, how can I love my spouse today like she [or he] has never been or ever will be loved?