Quotes About Humor

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.: Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.

A woman has to be intelligent, have charm, a sense of humor, and be kind. It's the same qualities I require from a man.

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

The truth is funny. Honest discovery, observation, and reaction is better than contrived invention.

A lot of truth is said in jest.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.

Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier.

All right now. That's it!" the Irish priest snapped from the front of the church. "We'll have none of that grizzly shit in this holy house of my Lord. And you, badger, find a seat somewhere else." When Freddy didn't move, the tiger priest warned, "Don't make me tear that puny head from your shoulders, my good lad. Because we both know I will, now don't we?

You're not going to kill me, skin me, and wear my head as a hat?

He actually wasn't too bad. For a big cat doing the mambo.

Good Lord, Rory Lee!" Ronnie snarled. "You don't throw babies! Especially mine!" "Look what he did to me!" Rory pointed at his unmarred neck. "What am I looking at?" Sissy Mae asked. "'Cause I don't see nothin'." "Just wait until the little bastard grows into his fangs," Rory promised. "Then you'll see!

I'm sure. I do not need to hear about my 'frisky' father.

They talk to me and tell me I'm pretty and inform me when the neighbor's dog is stalking me in the name of the high god Satan . . . so how imaginary can they be?

If he didn't have Ronnie already in his arms he'd have assumed she'd just opened the door...and aged a few years. Wow, he thought in surprise, she's going to be hot when we hit fifty.

Surprisingly, Gwendolyn, I have more important things to do with my time, like put bamboo shoots under my nails or drill holes in all my teeth.

Kera went up on her toes and gave Vig a quick kiss, then she was gone. In the SUV and disappearing down the street. Vig walked back to his truck. That's when Stieg driely asked, "do you need another minute to blush coquettishly and dream about your white wedding?" As Vig walked around the front of his vehicle, he grabbed Steig by the hair and slammed him face-first into the hood.

Oh, my God," she gasped. "What?" "It is bigger." Lock peered down at his cock. "Well," he offered as explanation, "it's in a good mood.

I didn't even do anything." "You did ask her if she killed Petrov. I think your exact words were, 'You whacked him, didn't you? You sadistic bitch.'" "Sadistic heifer. And it was just a question.

Is there something wrong with you? Mentally?" "Darlin', you met my family. You've gotta be more specific than that.

She should have remembered her Grandmother Fiona's words to her when she turned ten. "Honey, all men are idiots." As always, the older generation called it.

I see." Charlie brushed nonexistent lint off her jeans. "Because a honey badger family is not nearly as important as a pack or pride or a teddy bear picnic." "I don't think bears call themselves . . . that.

Good Lord! Get off the cross, we need the wood.