Quotes About Humor

You like her." "Don't you?" "I don't dislike her." "Hell, boy, for you that's marriage.

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."

What are you cooking this night, wife?" One of the crepes picked that moment to dislodge itself from the ceiling. It landed at her feet with a plop as if on cue. "Crepes." She kept a straight face and tried to look like this was the normal way to make crepes.

He cleared his throat. "I wish I could take back what I said." He looked away. "I behaved like a thoin aiseal." "What does that mean?" "A donkey's arse." She glanced down at the furs, found herself fighting a smile. "And how do you pronounce that? I somehow suspect I may have need of that phrase again.

I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.

Nothing like a little zombie beheading to take the edge off staking one's aunt.

If you have never said "Excuse me" to a parking meter or bashed your shins on a fireplug, you are probably wasting too much valuable reading time.

I'd love to have First Lady Michelle Obama over and ask, 'How do you make your marriage work?' I think the president is sexy as all get-out, but he has got to get on her nerves some kind of way. He's this wonderful, powerful man, but she sees him leaving his socks on the floor.

I was homeless for a little bit. I was on people's couches, but it was an amazing journey. I got to make people laugh all the way.

What are you doing? (Amanda) I'm getting into my car. (Kyrian) You own this?! (Amanda) No. I'm stealing it with the key in my hand. (Kyrian)

You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies.

You can get away with saying much more with humor than you can with a straight face

Once you start laughing, you start healing.

when gentlemen stare at my bosom, they don't hear a word I say. I strongly believe that if trees sprouted breasts tomorrow, they would soon be wearing wedding rings.

I don't know about you, but I always need a stiff drink after a visit with your parents

Men! What do any of you ever do without us?" "Live in hovels?

More absurdity in myself, endless absurdities. My own childishness sometimes amused me. Would it amuse others? Were others like myself, hopelessly childish?

Why did I laugh at his sorry, bedraggled appearance? Because ridiculousness made a repellant situation more bearable.

People don't realize that I'm really funny and I'm an excellent bridge player.

Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names.

I can't believe I'm dating a sadist! If the school is haunted, I'll cheat on him with a ghost!

My Chicken can do a special trick! "And what is that?" She can lay an egg! "And what's so special about THAT?!" Well, Can YOU lay an egg?

A wise word is not a substitute for a piece of herring.

This is an ugly and mean world, and only to spite it we mustn't weep. If you want to know, this is the constant source of my good spirit, of my humor. Not to cry, out of spite, only to laugh out of spite, only to laugh.