Quotes About Humor

One of the greatest was the blonde, urbane Ina Claire, who seemed a Dorothy Parker story or New Yorker cartoon come to life.

Of children as of procreation - the pleasure momentary, the posture ridiculous, the expense damnable.

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them.

Eat more beans to produce more gas.

Laughter is the deadliest weapon of all: with laughter you can murder anything, even murder.

I really want to play Princess Leia. Stick some big pastries on my head. Now that would be interesting.

Juggernaut: All right. Get the Doc to work -- now. Before I change my mind. Deadpool: Wow. Whaddaya know? LOGIC stops the Juggernaut!

A Scottish, mopping his brow with his kilt was accused of indecent exposure!

Artichoke is a real dish for the poor..; it's the only one that, when you have finished eating, you have more in your plate than when you started. (Michel Colucci known as Coluche)

Asked about his beautiful gold pocket watch, Woody Allen said :"I'm very attached to it, my grandfather sold it to me on his deathbed!"

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if it wasn't the case, they would have married too

He's so optimistic that he would buy a burial suit with a change of pants!

My wife and I have been happy for twenty years....Then we met!

Pupils had to create a rhyme for today's lesson. When it's his turn, Gilbert goes: "I was in the pond behind the hillocks and I had water up to my knees!" Teacher:"Interesting Gilbert, but that doesn't rhyme!" Gilbert:"I know it doesn't and I'm sorry Mrs Walter, but it's not my fault if there wasn't enough water!"

Trump: "Madam, if you were my wife, I'd poison your tea!" Clinton: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd drink it!"

I love playing moms. It's a lot easier than being a mom, I hear.

You gonna put on your big-girl panties and fight with the boys, now?" He looked over his shoulder as if he expected me to blush or something. "Who says I wear panties?" I was certain that he flushed red this time. Laughing, I left him shaking his head and went on inside to find the Kid. We had work to do.

Admitting that Katie had taken too much blood was on par with saying an adult human had pooped their pants or eaten their own boogers!

Sometimes when the poop hits the fan we should block it and run, sometimes we should haul off and knock it for a loop back at the spinning blades. Wisdom is knowing two things. One is which time is which. The other is that no matter what you do you're gonna get crap on your hand.

You're robbing the cradle, then," he said. Humor filled his face. "You're a cougar." Laughter burbled out of me, part of it relieved nerves, the other part surprise at the play on words. "I'm not that kind of cougar," I said, my tone lofty.

Katie chuckled. It was one of the silky laughs that her kind can give, low and erotic, like vocal sex.

Holy Necrophilia, Batman

If I accepted, Edmund would be our vampire servant." "Come to think of it, that sounds all kinds-a classy. He could clean our toilets. See you soon, babe.