Quotes About Humor

His face reminded Myron of a magnified photo of head lice.

Der mentsh trakht un got lakht. Translation: Man plans and God laughs.

Win did not glance in Myron's direction. He looked out as though posing for a park statue. "I was just thinking," Win said. "What?" "If you clone yourself, and then have sex with yourself, is it incest or masturbation?" Win. "Good to see you're not wasting your time," Myron said. Win looked at him. "If we were still at Duke," he said, "we'd probably discuss the dilemma for hours.

Both boys giggled at that one. Then growing more somber, Blakely said, "But man oh man, what a total Babe Lair." "Love Nest." "Herpes Haven." "Penile Palace." "Beaver Trap." Myron tried not to sigh. It was like hanging out with a really annoying thesaurus. He turned to Win and asked what the plan was. "Follow

Butterface." Then Thomas spoke slowly. "But. Her. Face." Adam tried not to smile

Mom sprinted down the driveway and hugged Myron as though he'd just been released by Hamas terrorists. She also hugged Brenda. So did everyone else. Dad was in the back at the barbecue. A gas grill now, thank goodness, so Dad could stop loading on the lighter fluid with a hose. He wore a chef's hat somewhat taller than a control tower and an apron that read REFORMED VEGETARIAN.

Loren looked at Christ on the cross behind the Mother Superior's head. She remembered an old joke, one she heard when she first got here. A boy is getting all Ds and Fs in math so his parents send him to Catholic school. On his first report card, his parents are shocked to see their son getting straight As. When his parents ask him why, he says, "Well, when I went into the chapel and saw that guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew they were serious." Mother

What are you doing?" Grace had asked him. "Gangsta poses. Yo, whatchya think?" "That I should get you seizure medication.

He checked his watch. "One more drink," Win said. "And then I will go in the other room because—oh, you'll love this—Mee so horny." I

Megan looked into Agnes's frightened face. Agnes had been so sharp just a few years back—funny and cutting and wonderfully ribald.

Whoa," Hester said, making her hands into a T. "Time-out." Fagbenle looked annoyed. "I'd like to continue my questioning." "And I'd like to tongue-bathe Hugh Jackman," Hester said, "so both of us are going to have to live with a little disappointment." Hester rose. "Stay here, Detective. We will be right back.

Fagbenle looked annoyed. "I'd like to continue my questioning." "And I'd like to tongue-bathe Hugh Jackman," Hester said, "so both of us are going to have to live with a little disappointment.

Lawrence laughed at that one like it was a Richard Pryor special.

You look like Donald Trump being sprayed with mace." "That's the poo-poo face. I

I frowned. "Don't you guys have a steroid needle that needs an ass cheek?" Their

Esperanza's sexual preference flip-flopped like a politician in a nonelection year. Currently she seemed to be on a man kick, but Myron guessed that was one of the advantages of bisexuality: love everyone. Myron had no problem with it. In high school he had dated almost exclusively bisexual girls—he'd mention sex, the girls would say "bye." Okay, old joke, but the point remained.

Now that she was closer, she could see that Hat Tilt looked like Jay-Z—if Jay-Z suddenly aged ten years and never worked out and was a pasty white guy trying to look like Jay-Z. "No

I'm going to serve up his balls for breakfast. Your job, to keep within this metaphor, is to do the grocery shopping. Can you handle that?" That

Shauna ordered one too. "So you broke up with what's-her-name," she said. "Brandy." "Right. Nice name, by the way. She have a sister named Whiskey?

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

Humor should not be dissected because nothing lives through dissection.

But good old Albert, aka Vic, whooped and howled like a Belgian wolfhound getting a glucose enema.

Er zeigte ihnen, dass ihre Unsterblichkeit verglichen mit seiner eigenen ein alberner Witz war.

Wild with laughter, Twelfth Night is nevertheless almost always on the edge of violence.