Quotes About Humor

Funny is funny is funny.

The closer you get to understanding humor, the more you begin to lose your sense of humor.

Years later, in 1989, my family in Chicago was at a Christmas gathering. My sister M.J. was seated next to my mother. Mom's memory was beginning to fade. My mother said, "Is Dad with us?" M.J. said, "No, Mom, Dad died a few months ago." Mom said, "There were times I could have killed him." Then there was a pause and Mom said, "I didn't, did I?" with a laugh.

The best way to keep your daughter out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.

We had natural childbirth. We had our baby on a bed of lettuce at the Sizzler.

Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! "Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house--" and, cut! "Cock shit fuck!"

I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.

Bill Cosby said it pretty eloquently: "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

But I actually did change Mary-Kate's and Ashley's diapers once. And that was four years ago. Ashley came up with the punch line to that joke. No,

That's because they're people, only smarter. They know us better than we know them, and a lot of them have a sense of humor. They're exactly like us minus our useless mental power and thumbs.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it's never at the expense of the other guy.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?

Bobby Henderson

And evolution wasn't even properly invented until the late 1800s. Is that enough time to get a Labrador retriever from a dire wolf? I think not.

I'll close on the platypus by stating an alternative theory that I've come up with: the Flying Spaghetti Monster made the platypus because, unlike scientists, He has a sense of humor. It's an unlikely sign from God—and until someone can prove me wrong, that's my theory.

And I would be the first to admit that probably, in a lot of press conferences over the time that I have been in coaching, indulging my own sense of humor at press conferences has not been greatly to my benefit.

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

The doctor turned to me and asked, "Mr. Goldthwait, would you like to cut the cord?" And I said, "Isn't there anyone more qualified?"

We had a C-section. That's when the baby comes out like toast.

Thus this book is an expression not only of my own evolution, but of a part of society's evolution as well, a society I live in and that, like me, wishes to live in habitations where humor and the possibility of metaphysical escape reign supreme. BOHUMIL HRABAL, 1965

I question the value of name tags as an aid to future identification. I have approached too many people who have spent the entire evening talking to my left bosom. I always have the insane desire to name the other one.