Quotes About Humor

the basement. Katz

Did you know—this is a little-known fact but absolute truth—that when they dedicate a new multistory car park, the Lord Mayor and his wife have a ceremonial pee in the stairwell? It's true.

arachibutyrophobia.

Even his command of languages was only partial: although he could read them flawlessly, he used his own made-up pronunciations, which no one who spoke the languages could actually understand. In Norway, hoping to impress colleagues, he once tried to order a dish of raspberries and was brought twelve beers.

So what do you say to some cream soda? Katz said brightly. I'll buy. I looked at him with deepened interest. You don't have any money. I know. I'll buy it with your money.

his facetious grace in writing," and much else.

It's just that. It's just that sometimes all I see ahead of me is TV dinners - a sort of endless line of them dancing towards me like in a cartoon - Katz

In 1956, while passing through customs at Sydney Airport, he was found to be carrying a large and diversified collection of pornographic material, and he was invited to take his sordid continental habits elsewhere. Thus, by one of life's small ironies, he was unable to enjoy, as it were, his own finest erection.

The best ones go in for a kind of gloriously silly redundancy toward the end, as with Sir Humphrey Dodington Benedict Sherston Sherston-Baker and the truly unbeatable Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraduati Tollemache-Tollemache-de Orellana-Plantagenet-Tollemache-Tollemache, a British army major who died in World War I. The

The first is the hot dog. Memorably defined by H. L. Mencken as "a cartridge filled with the sweepings of abattoirs

this is a little-known fact but absolute truth—that when they dedicate a new multistory car park, the Lord Mayor and his wife have a ceremonial pee in the stairwell? It's true.

So what's your sign?' said Mary Ellen. 'Cunnilingus,' Katz answered and looks profoundly unhappy. She looked at him. 'I don't know that one.' She made an I'll-be-darned frown and said, 'I thought I knew them all. Mine's Libra.' She turned to me. 'What's yours?' 'I don't know.' I tried to think of something. 'Necrophilia.

But perhaps nothing speaks more clearly for the absurdities of English pronunciation than that the word for the study of pronunciation in English, orthoepy, can itself be pronounced two ways.

Clayton had a number of troubles but his greatest one was his trousers.

That boy's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the bottom.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? was not In the men's room, Julie.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

i was'nt always black. there was this freckel that just grew and grew...

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!

Zip zop wop boopity bop.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can fi nd humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!!

New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.