Quotes About Humor

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I want to make people laugh.

Hello this is Glozell! Is you OK? Is you? Good, cause I wanted to know!

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

I wanted to be a writer-performer like the Pythons. In fact, I wanted to be John Cleese, and it took me some time to realise that the job was, in fact, taken.

You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else.

Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.

I wasn't close to my father, but I wanted to be all my life. He had a funny sense of humor, and he laughed all the time - good and loud, like I do. He was a gay Irish gentleman and very good-looking. And he wanted to be close to me, too, but we never had much time together.

I always wanted to be an explorer, but - it seemed I was doomed to be nothing more than a very silly person.

I always wanted to be a comedic actor - that's what I wanted from the job - to do comedy and to create my own comedy. But I still love doing stand-up and will probably be doing it forever. I'd love to be an old guy who can't really walk, can't really stand-up, and I have to sit on the stool and tell jokes.

I'm a pretty good ventriloquist, but it's the entertainment value and the laughs that keep people sitting there and wanting more.

My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool.

I couldn't fart in an elevator without people wanting to sue me.

I remember seeing McCoy Tyner in concert, and thinking that the music was incredible, but wanting to be invited in. I figured that humor was the way of letting the audience in. I've gotten a hard time about it, but I love to be funny onstage.

By the way, you won't put that thing in about me wanting to have sex on a football pitch, will you?

I grew up wanting to make movies, and along the way I suddenly found that I had a career doing comedy.

I have this fear of clowns, so I think that if I surround myself with them, it will ward off all evil.

When I went to California Institute of the Arts, I was classmates with a lot of like-minded weirdoes, some of who have gone on to create other cartoon shows-J.G. Quintel, 'Regular Show;' Pen Ward, 'Adventure Time.' We were all friends in school and pushed each other and made each other laugh.

I'll let you in on a secret: I can't stand Jay Ward. I hate being compared to Rocky and Bullwinkle. It's just a different style of humor.

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

I hope I'm always appropriate on 'JR' if it's a serious case. But if you have a case of a man who has a wardrobe malfunction with a lime green mankini, even I on the odd occasion find it mildly amusing.