Quotes About Humor

I'm definitely not frowning on improv; I mean, I've been doing it for years. I just think that there's some styles of comedy that warrant a tighter pace.

I'm probably as royal as Elizabeth Warren is Cherokee.

I actually fell down the steps on 'Ninja Warrior.'

Being a comedian, it's hard. People hear 'YouTuber,' and they automatically think, 'a social warrior,' and you have to stand up for all these things.

I am the jongleur. I leap and pirouette, and make you laugh. I make fun of those in power, and I show you how puffed up and conceited are the big shots who go around making wars in which we are the ones who get slaughtered. I reveal them for what they are. I pull out the plug, and... pssss... they deflate.

I take my 'Star Wars' quite seriously. There's humor in the movie, but as a fan I just wanted it to feel real.

He likes 'Confetti,' and he doesn't like 'Star Wars.' I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again.

Am I going to get my warts removed? I might do, but I'm certainly not going to auction them on the Internet.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

I'd always been quite wary of doing a romantic comedy. They all seem the same to me.

My mother was very wary at first. And now she's come around 180 degrees. She's, like, one of my biggest fans now. Like, she'll come over to my house, and she'll be like, 'OK, listen. I need two T-shirts from the comedy show, and give me three DVDs. The neighbors are asking for them.'

I've always been wary of anyone who calls themselves a 'shock comic.'

My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

I don't wash my hair.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

After leaving school, I travelled around Europe for about six months. In Denmark, I thought that was my chance to get an amazing haircut, so I went to what I thought was a great hairdresser. It turned out to be the car wash of hairdressers, and I walked out sporting yet another pudding bowl, but this time with a stripe bleached down the centre.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking.

With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.

I married a man who isn't afraid to wash a dish, scrub a toilet, or have his unibrow waxed into submission by a licensed professional.

I was born with a beard. We're quite hairy down in Latin America. We don't have to use sponges when we wash dishes. We just use our baby beards.

My days are spent wrangling children, chipping dried manure from boots, washing jeans, and frying calf nuts.

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies.