Quotes About Humor

Whenever I have a problem, I sing. Then I realize my voice is a lot worse than my problem.

You planning top kill me with a Wiffle bat?" [Carson asked] "Yeah." "Why?" he asked. The bat was shaking in my tight grip. "Because I don't have my Minnie Mouse pillow.

I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously.

Susan glanced down and smiled. 'Go away, Sieglinde,' she said, giving her a push. It's food, not me, you fraud!' Sieglinde regained her balance with the dexterity of a tight-rope walker. She sighed and whinnied under her breath continuously, while her paws took a firmer grip of Susan's knee.

I'll laugh until my head comes off".

You mean, you think he's hotter than a billy goat with a blowtorch?" Hazel asked.

Okay, first of all, how hot can a billy goat with a blowtorch really get? And why does he have a blowtorch in the first place?

Id is fery boedigal!" he said, his blue eyes twinkling. "Cabdain Blood is fond of boedry - you remember de abble-blossoms. So? Ha, ha!

Dwight is a sad clown. You've seen those paintings of sad clown.

I know what I look like - a weird, sad clown puppet. I'm fine with that.

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor.

I like being a Baha'i who has an out-there sense of humor. God gives us talents and faculties, and making people laugh is one of mine.

One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of humor.

My father's a heart surgeon but you don't see me going around cutting up people's hearts!" Christopher retorted. He scratched his head. "Though actually that might be kind of fun!

I always had the idea that when I was older I'd get frightfully clever. I'd get awfully learned, I'd get jolly sage. People would come to me for advice. But nobody comes to me for anything, and I don't know a bloody thing.

No orator can top the one who can give good nicknames.

They say the cows laid out Boston. Well, there are worse surveyors.

Era un pintor tan viejo que se le habían quedado calvos los pinceles. (He was such an old painter that his brushes had gone bald.)

La greguería es el género que se debe escribir en los bancos públicos, en los pretiles de los puentes, en las mesas de los cafés, al ir solos en los coches lentos que van acompañando a los entierros, en las mesas de las cocinas, en los fogones, etc.

an anonymous democrat was able to place an ad in the Times of India announcing the 'death of D. E. M. O'Cracy, mourned by his wife T. Ruth, his son L. I. Bertie, and his daughters Faith, Hope, and Justice'.

The only good thing about people not taking me seriously is that I'm not serious myself!

There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!

Will was very British and on his way to very drunk.

another arabic curse that cracks me up is the one my parents use whenever they go aggro at me. Instead of cursing me, they curse themselves! When Dad yells out "God damn your father" I'm absolutely chicken pox itching to tell him that he really is missing the point.