Quotes About Humor

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

But I've been called: I've got to go. You know what that's like. You answered the call of your boots.' 'That was a joke!' said Tess, unexpectedly offended.

Percival pinched his lips, sending his laugh to his eyes.

Wow, Cross. I think you missed your calling. Screw demon hunting: you should clearly be writing Hallmark cards.

Jackass, jackass on the wall, where's the info on Hex Hall?

Please don't joke and bleed at the same time.

Do you and Zach have trouble living together?' 'No. Must be a chick thing.' 'And you're sexist.' 'I'm sexy.

And then the squirrel ran up my legs searching for nuts.' I nearly spewed my coffee and my eyes went wide as I jerked my head around to stare at Daniel. He gave me a wry grin and chuckled. 'I thought that would get your attention.

Great.My brother was an entertainer and I was a sleeping pill.

He was more of a cut-a-wisebrack-and-run-for-cover kind of guy.

Hey, college-bound?" "Yeah?" "Do you always kick guys in the nuts when they try to kiss you?" "Maybe you should try it sometime and find out.

How do you get a boyfriend?" I asked. "If I knew that, I'd have one," Bird said.

Of course, there were no paper towels to clean up with…just hand dryers. I rubbed my wet fingers over the ice cream, creating a big wet spot right in the center of my chest. Oh, yeah, beauty and poise contest, here I come.

I wasn't totally flat, but my chest resembled hills, while Cynthia's looked more like the Grand Tetons.

What are you doing here?" "My dad called and--what the hell is that?" He pointed to the cleaver. I angled my chin. "I was in the middle of cutting my peanut butter and jelly sandwich." "With a meat cleaver?" "It's quick and makes a perfectly straight cut." He grinned. "Yeah, right. You've obviously watched too many movies. Who'd you think I was? Freddy Krueger?

Being human?" She smirks. "Be wary of a man who you don't want bringing you a cool towel when you're about to pass out from explosive diarrhea.

And you look like you're going to a bar mitzvah at the Ponderosa.

looked at me as though I were moments away from licking all the doorknobs at the Red Roof Inn.

Y'know, I cut my finger on a mandoline once. I stole it, so I guess the universe said, 'Bitch, please.

I should get one of those T-shirts that says ORGASM DONOR," he said.

The physical part of comedy is as hard as a lot of action movies. It scares me, but in a way that I like.

no demon can posses you if you maintain the ability to turn and laugh at it

I never understood why something as wet and with so much sucking and licking is called a blowjob. Men don't pause long enough to give a shit, is the only conclusion I've developed over the years.

A laugh-out-loud moment before she would send them to the underworld; or it would have been if she could still laugh. She's tried to remember how but she honestly couldn't make the sound anymore, another strange side effect.