Quotes About Humor

You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.

I met Woz when I was 13, at a friend's garage. He was about 18. He was, like, the first person I met who knew more electronics than I did at that point. We became good friends, because we shared an interest in computer and we had a sense of humor. We pulled all kinds of pranks together.

Ale Perez What happened to your right hand? TCKeller hucky made me finger-spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious untill he got it right. it took an hour and a half. i still can't hold a fork. what's the favour.

T.C.: Um, actually you just said "I live in a parking lot." You didn't mean to do that. Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning.

Ale Perez I can't imagine why anyone would choose to be male. It's just so unsubtle. Women only have to deal with breasts, which are what they are. They don't suddenly stand up whenever they feel like it and begin pointing at something they want. Augie Hwong You SO don't know what you're missing.

and at first I couldn't tell if he liked it or not. It was only after I'd finished "Light My Fire" that he sort of yelped and wrestled me to the ground (translation: he liked it). But I pinned him first. (Grin.)

07/15/86 Calvin and Hobbes decide to go fishing. Fishing is one sport Calvin really likes. Calvin is on the end of the fishing line, held up by Hobbes' pole. Calvin has a bat in his hand and is trying to hit the fish. Hobbes says he understands since it's so contemplative. 1,113; 3,121

06/11/92 Calvin calls the library with a disguised voice. He is looking for vulgar synonyms for body functions. They hang up on him. Calvin tells Hobbes librarians are a sharp bunch.

05/03/87 Calvin ties himself up and Hobbes takes off running. Calvin is trying to fly like a kite. He crashes to the ground. Calvin thinks they need a bit more wind. Again he tries. Again he crashes. Hobbes suggests Calvin might be too heavy. Calvin wonders what he can do to make himself lighter. Mom answers a phone call from Mrs. Carroll. There is a naked kid tied to a stuffed tiger is running through her yard.

Hobbes tells Calvin that he's heard girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, while boys are made of snips, snails, and puppy dog tails. Calvin asks what tigers are made of. Hobbes tells him dragonflies, katydids, but mostly chewed-up little kids. Calvin doesn't think that's very funny.

I'd just like to meet a girl with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Comedy Is Not Pretty!

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday.

I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...

Before we work on artificial intelligence why don't we do something about natural stupidity?

You crack me up, little buddy.

So where'd you park the car, Max?' 'I don't know. I couldn't see over the wheel.' 'That's okay. I think I can smell it.