Quotes About Humor

Giving someone shit, Rodney knew was a sign of love in Catholic families. And the same held true for Rodney and his friends. But he wished it weren't Keith's default setting, his auto-reply to everything.

At the end of the day this is nothing more than a blog. It's nice to hit them high notes - but REALLY - how significant do you think something that sort of sounds like the sound of a flatulent frog being run over by a clown car really needs to be?

So as near as I could tell the end of the world began roughly about the time that Billy Carver's butt rang about halfway through the War of 1812.

Yes, boys and girls, today's near-death experience was brought to you by the number eight and the letters WTF!

There's nothing worse than a smartass who pretends not to understand hyperbole.

If you're trying to scare me," I said, "it's working." "I can do a great deal more than scare you." Where do they get this stuff? "Um, if I thought all you could do was scare me, you couldn't scare me, if you see what I mean." "We'll see how funny you are in a little while." I was mildly curious about that myself.

You wouldn't want her to turn you into a newt." "I'll get better," I said.

You may borrow them, if you wish," so I could avoid letting him startle me. "I'd like that very much." "I should warn you, however, that I have several volumes devoted to curses for people who don't return books." "I'd like to borrow those, too.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. —Erma Bombeck

I am here to arrest your manservant. The one named Bugg.' 'Oh, now really, his cooking isn't that bad.

Why, without a sense of humour, you are blind to so much in the world. To human nature. To the absurdity of so much that we say and do.

I shall call him Tufty.

I had this laddish way about me, with my deep voice and telling jokes all the time; I was Burkey, the little fella in a skirt.

Cameron Diaz was so cute at the MTV Movie Awards when she pulled her skirt up and wiped her armpits.

My dog Jake ran up to Dolly Parton, and he put his nose up her skirt. We were like, 'Oh my God, don't do that.' I didn't know Dolly, and she said, 'Watch out there little doggie, don't start something you can't finish.'

There have been, like, three auditions in my life where I feel like I'm in a 'Saturday Night Live' skit.

In order to crash the party and be a clown with your own skit, you had to be there for quite a while.

When I walk out on stage, I don't know who's in the audience. To me, in my little fat skull, the laugh is just the widest demographic you can get.

The only difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.

A lot of celebrities have a sense of humor, and combined with an outrageous event, sometimes the sky's the limit!

Is the sky falling? No. It's maybe drooping a bit.

You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.

I think there should be laughs in everything. Sometimes, it's a slammed door, a pie in the face or just a recognition of our frailties.

What I wrote all the time when I was a kid - I don't want to call it 'poetry,' because it wasn't poetry. I was not that kind of a writer. I was a rhymer. I was a fan of Dorothy Parker's, so maybe I wrote poetry to that extent, but my main focus was the humor of it, and word construction, and the slant. Your words, it's a very powerful experience.