Quotes About Humor

Well, child? Aren't you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature? I don't think I shall bother, madam, seeing as you are making such a good job of it yourself!

And the nice thing about a stake through the heart was that it also worked on non-vampires.

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.

The demon coughed nervously. Demons do not breathe; however, every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. And this was one of them as far as the demon was concerned.

Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces.

On the other hand the Nac Mac Feegle were always looking for a fight, in a cheerful sort of way, and when they had no one to fight they fought one another, and if one was all by himself he'd kick his own nose just to keep in practice.

Behind her, Preston grunted and said, I know it's not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig! Tiffany, trying to get her shattered thoughts together, muttered, My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow... Is that so? said Preston cheerfully. Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig!

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad

He was said to have the body of a twenty-five year old, although no-one knew where he kept it. The point was that everyone else had someone, even if in Nobby's case it was probably against their will.

He didn't administer a reign of terror, just the occasional light shower.

It is said that whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whomsoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.

Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.

And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a lyre.' 'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.

You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you? Only a man would think of that. It's our job, said Moist. If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will.

Legitimate First watched them go as they walked away. Sergeant Colon felt he was being measured up. I've always wondered about his name, said Nobby, turning and waving. I mean...Legitimate? Can't blame a mother for being proud, Nobby, said Colon.

All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.

Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day.

Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.

His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old.

You are very clever, said the old man shyly. I would like to eat your brains, one day.

The small alien walked past the car. "CO2 level up 0.5 percent," it rasped, giving him a meaningful look. "You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?

My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure, said Carrot. Really? Well, there's eleven of them.

About a cookbook...) - What about this one? Maids of Honor? - Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.

WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?