Quotes About Humor

Just imagine how terrible it might have been if we'd been at all competent.

Well done,' said a voice somewhere behind him. 'Consciousness to sarcasm in five seconds!

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.

Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.

Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut widow's peak and, not least, his ridiculous accent that grew thicker or thinner depending on who he was talking to, did not look like a threat. He looked funny, a joke, a music-hall vampire. It had never previously occurred to Vimes that, just possibly, the joke was on other people.

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets.

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point.

No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable.

Hilta laughed like someone who had thought hard about Life and had seen the joke.

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

But I don't believe in reincarnation! he protested. SQUEAK. And this, Mr Pounder understood with absolute rodent clarity, meant: reincarnation believes in you .

I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black!' 'No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day.

Luck is my middle name, said Rincewind, indistinctly. Mind you, my first name is Bad.

That, lad, he said proudly, was some of the worst poetry I have heard for a long time. It was offensive to the ear and a torrrture to the soul....We'll make a gonnagle out of ye yet!

This is a lovely party, said the Bursar to a chair, I wish I was here.

All Fungi are edible. Some fungi are only edible once.

WHERE'S MY COW? ARE YOU MY COW? 

Many things went on at Unseen University and, regrettably, teaching had to be one of them. The faculty had long ago confronted this fact and had perfected various devices for avoiding it. But this was perfectly all right because, to be fair, so had the students.

Terry Pratchett

Romancin' is verra important, ye ken. Basically it's a way the boy can get close to the girl wi'oot her attackin' him and scratchin' his eyes oot.