Quotes About Humor

This is my idea of a sex dream? Clearly, I need more practice. Scrambling to the edge of the bed, she claps a hand to her mouth, and laughs. "I belched!" she proclaims delightedly. "I always wondered what it would feel like." She frowns. "Ugh. Like a wee gaheena was trying to crawl up my throat. Not a pleasant sensation at all. But once it started coming out, it felt wonderful." She's

A Hunter-sized bowel movement on her head would go a long way toward making me feel better.

Comedy is pain plus time.

Peas were for pussies. Real soldiers used mashed potato. With extra gravy.

Does Chloe remind you of anyone?" One corner of his mouth lifted. "Linda Blair in The Exorcist?" Seth!" He laughed. "All right, then, maybe a little bit of a stretch. Who did you have in mind?" Me." His eyes widened. "Good God, I'd almost have Linda Blair.

I love weird or funny or beautiful sentences Joy Williams could write a microwave-oven manual and I'm sure I'd love it, because the sentences would be tuned up like music.

I think that different pleasures work for different readers - a friend of mine won't read anything that's not a cardiovascular sort of page-turner. I tend to care less about plot, but I'm a sucker for humor and strangeness.

We keep giggling, happy and nervous, tickled by an incomplete innocence. We both sense that some dark joke is being played on us, even if we can't quite grasp the punch line.

My mom says I'm destined to be the sort of man who uses big words but pronounces them incorrectly.

Sometimes I long for a good old-fashioned Walton Christmas. You know, the kind where you give someone an apple or wooden whistle and they go into cardiac arrest from sheer ecstasy.

When I'm hurting, it feels good to laugh. This is because, when life gets tough, we have two choices: We can cry about it, or we can laugh, and laughing is easier on the mascara. Crying makes me look like a raccoon.

I attempt to process the myriad thoughts her comment provokes, but they all collide in my head and are now lying prone like the Three Stooges after a pratfall.

The next time someone asks you, "Hey, howdja get to be a homosexual anyway?" tell them, "Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview... then the swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them."

Sara studied him. "Is that a Chihuahua behind your back?" "No, I'm just happy to see you" Sara gave him a confused smile, and he reluctantly showed her Betty.

Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.

In Berlin, things are serious but not hopeless. In Vienna, they are hopeless but not serious.

She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?

You never see an old man eating a Twix

I could eat a knob at night.

AND YOU HAVE TO have, I think, a similar sense of humor. That was a very important part of our life together. In fact, just two weeks before he died, we were talking one night, and he said something and I just dissolved in laughter, and he looked at me so self-satisfied and said, "I can still make you laugh after all these years!" And he could.

Life is funny; it really is.

Whoever said "laughter is the best medicine" never had gonorrhea.

I'm afraid I've got to leave for a while. Will you be all right while I'm gone." "I'm pregnant,Ethan,not dying of the plague.I'll be quite all right while you are away." He seemed to miss the humor. "Are you certain?" "Actually,I could use a moment to myself.You've been hovering over me like a hen with a chick since the day you came home." His mouth faintly curved. "And I shall continue to do so until your babe has arrived.

Call opened the door before she had time to knock. "You're only five minutes late," he said lightly. "For a woman, I consider that right on time." "Actually, for a woman, it's fifteen minutes early." He chuckled. "Come on in.