Quotes About Humor

Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.

He was Irish to the fingertips. He could laugh and he could create laughter. He had a funny way of looking at things—at some things, I should say.

By the Lord of Hell's hairy balls!

Get an apple, put an iron nail in it, and leave it there overnight. Then take it out and eat the apple. You'll see the red streak of the sanguine humor, which is what you need.

I'm so unprofessional on set it's not even funny.

Lazarus, come forth. Not unless you bring me my top hat and stick. Stay where you are then, you snob. Not at all. I'm coming forth.

Were you and Hope the only ones at that school to have normal names? What was with those people—Buffy, Kiki, Dede, Muffin?' 'Well, dear, they'd already used up the good names for the dogs,' Faith countered archly, and turned off the light.

Liz used to joke that when she was an undergrad at Cornell, she and the girls in her sorority would play "Homeless? Or tenured professor?" while driving around the streets of Ithaca. It was a hard game.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Because the first time they met... Y-da: "You know, Y-naga-san, the more makeup you put on, the more you look like a guy in drag. So I'm going to call you F-mio!" Y-naga: "I-I like this person!" The moment she fell in love.

One can know a man from his laugh, and if you like a man's laugh before you know anything of him, you may confidently say that he is a good man.

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

And Noah he often said to his wife when he sat down to dine,"I don't care where the water goes if it doesn't get into the wine."

A good joke is the one ultimate and sacred thing which cannot be criticized. Our relations with a good joke are direct and even divine relations.

Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

Myrhvold, for instance, drank at least a six-pack a day of Diet Pepsi. He was, friends joked, "living proof there's no lethal dose for NutraSweet." Navigating

The young open the paper to forget about life by reading the funny strips. The old do it to forget about death by reading other people's obits. My advice: don't open the paper and go on with your life.

You don't by chance believe that the war has killed all the halfwits? They belong to a race that will never die out. I'm sure there was a halfwit in Noah's Ark and he was the most prolific male on God's blessed raft!

For most of my 20s, I looked like I was 12. Now that I'm pushing 40, I guess I look closer to... 15? It must be my macrobiotic diet. Oh, wait, except that I don't have one of those.

What is the point of bad dates if not to have amusing anecdotes for your friends?

A.J. has never changed a diaper in his life, though he is a modestly skilled gift wrapper.

You made quite an impression on the old man, by the way." "You mean Uncle Yuri?" "He said he'd marry you. If you weren't related. And if he were fifty years younger. Et cetera. Et cetera." "That a lot of very important 'ifs', Jacks.