Quotes About Humor

You know," he said, "at some point you're going to realize that being a smart-ass isn't as much about being smart as it is about being an ass." "That's good," I said. "Did you read that in a fortune cookie?

You know," he said, "at some point you're going to realize that being a smart-ass isn't as much about being smart as it is about being an ass.

Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

I wonder why Holling had the fastest time," said Danny after the announcements - a whole lot louder than he had to. "Could it be because he was running away from two rats who were trying to eat him?" "That might have a little to do with it," I said.

you can't believe how hard it is to make a puffin not look like a chump

Someday, people will be buying these in antique shops, and they'll have tiny computers that they carry around with them"—which I think he probably meant as a joke, except he didn't laugh.

W)hen we laugh, we escape the Devil.

But, like I said, nobody ever accused me of having an overabundance of good sense.

rattled and rocked the theater. Considered one of the funniest movies of all time, it also sprinkled in unexpected doses of wisdom and insight. In one memorable scene, Curly, the gritty cowboy played by the late Jack Palance, and city slicker Mitch, played by Billy Crystal, leave the group to search for stray cattle. Although they had clashed for most of the movie, riding along together they finally connect over a conversation about life. Suddenly Curly reins his horse

The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?

Wait a minute! This is grass! We've been eating grass!

Look out, everyone! ... We're being attacked by a giant sq ... well, no ... I'd say medium squid!

Simultaneously all three went for the ball, and the coconut-like sound of their heads colliding secretly delighted the bird.

Every one of these cartoons is just something that drifted into my head when I was alone with my thoughts. And, for better or worse, I 'jotted' them down. It was only later, when perhaps I received an angry letter from someone, that it struck me: Hey! Someone's been reading my diary!

Life is too important to take too seriously. If you learn to laugh at yourself you will enjoy a lifetime of entertainment.

Make 'Em Laugh! Humor is a vastly underrated tool for relationship and trust-building.

People who know me, they know I have a sense of humor, I'm a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown really, and I would love someone to exploit that side of me and send me a romantic comedy.

Craddock is also credited with saying that the best way to drink a cocktail is "quickly, while it's laughing at you!

The Drunk's Blue Book, written by Norman Anthony and O. Soglow in 1933, for instance, details what the authors call the Drunk's Code: Free lunch. Free speech. Free cheers. Five-day week. Every third drink on the house. Lower curbstones. Overstuffed gutters. More lampposts. Rubber nightsticks and rolling pins. More keyholes for every door. More farmers' daughters. Colder ice. Two cocktails for a quarter. Bigger and better beers.

I wonder if "an" ever occurs before "haughty" except in a quotation, or whether you can make anything sound like a quotation by adding a word like "goeth"?

Aerobics: Death take me now & spare me the pain, she said. It was difficult for me to get that excited. Get a grip, I said, it's only aerobics.

How's the job hunt going? I said. She sighed. I can't help laughing when people do stupid things, she said, so basically I'm unemployable.

Joker: I don't mind you saying that, Johnny. Sometimes, I need to hear the obvious... now is not one of those times, though.