Quotes About Humor

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Now Bella, you know Jacob adores you. He naturally wants to protect you. He literally worships the ground you walk on." "Ha ha," Bella said dryly. "Earth demon. Worship the ground. Cute. Really cute.

I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.

I don't feel any pressure to be funny at all. I'm funny because I want to be funny. I could sit here and be serious for an hour and you would go away and make me much funnier than I am.

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

Comedies are doing well because I think people want to laugh and not think about everything for a little bit.

With a horror movie, you want to know where the engine of the fear is coming from. Like in comedy, you want to know what the engine that's going to make the comedy - where that's coming from.

I always tell people I want to live to be 150 and they say why would you want to do that. I say, well there's a few people I haven't made mad yet, I want to get them.

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

Humor is in fact an essential element in the mirth of creation. We can see how, in many matters in our lives, God wants to prod us into taking things a bit more lightly.

All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. They don't understand them, and they don't want to get near them. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.

It was a perfect marrige. She didn't want to and he couldn't

Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

Fans feel they know me, so they want me to be on-the-spot funny, and it's hard to fulfil their expectations.

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

Wait, so am I allowed to put my shirt back on? Or did you want me to remove my pants, too?

Boo: "Go talk to her." Callum: "About what?" Boo: "Anything." Callum: "You want me to walk up to her and say, 'Are you a ghost?'" Boo: "I do that." Callum: "I love it when you get it wrong.

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said. "Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.

You want me here. (Artemis) Yeah, like an alien rectal probe up my sphincter.' (Acheron)

You want something by Bach? Which one, Johann Sebastian or Jacques Offen?

Comedy can reach many more people than, say, a serious lecture on the topic. And comedy might just be the access point to reach people who want to be entertained and also learn something.

I don't watch a lot of other people's parodies because I don't want to be unduly influenced.