Quotes About Humor

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

My problem with math was that I was never able to convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

Laughter is the genuine form of applause.

Why do men have nipples? Because God is a woman and she really wants us to enjoy ourselves, that's why.

Deal. The pee nappies are yours.' Then she added, 'Your father can take care of the shitty ones.' Their laughter echoed through the deserted harbour. Anna would always remember that moment as one of the best in her life. That moment when the ice thawed.

The sensation when her nasal passages cleared was almost like an orgasm. Patrik liked to joke that if she ever had to choose between Sinex and sex, he would have to get himself a mistress.

We must accept our pain Change what we can and laugh at the rest

4/16/85: If I were thin, I'd never say "I am powerless over fudge." a) I can't believe I actually ever said that. b) Which, of course, isn't to say that I do have any power over fudge. Particularly if it has nuts.

The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor.

Funny always makes the bad things go away.

Who changes their legal name to Yarn Goddess? I mean, for real.

Rudimac always peed in our shoes.

Check her out. She"s fuckin" hot." "Wedding band," I say. "She sings in one?" "No, jackass. She's wearing one.

Oh, and by the way, Bed Bath & Beyond: Beyond? Really? Beyond? There is no Beyond! There's Kitchen! Beyond is Kitchen! You're Bed Bath & Kitchen! That's what you are! I don't give a crap if it's not alliterative!

Actually saying OMG out loud should only happen if you're being ironic or asking your phone for directions to the Oklahoma Meerkat Gardens.

I was on fire - or whatever the equivalent of 'on fire' is when you're 'in water'. ( En fuego sounds awesome. En agua , not so much. No offense, Michael Phelps. Or Aquaman. Or Nemo.)

Where he makes a jest, a problem lies concealed.

Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon.

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something.

My books are shelved in different places, depending on the bookstore. Sometimes they can be found in the Mystery section, sometimes in the Humor department, and occasionally even in the Literature aisle, which is somewhat astounding.

Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then there's this look of such profound sympathy for you that you had to resort to this. It really is withering.