Quotes About Humor

The first thing I did was run. Okay, actually the first thing I did was scream, lose my balance, flail my arms in the air like some kind of uncoordinated bird, then slide down the side of the tree and land on my butt. Then I ran.

Chase leaned in close. "hey" What? Are you wearing perfume? No... why would I be wearing perfume?... You sure you're not wearing anything? It smells like jasmine. Must be the bushes

To say I didn't have great luck in the guy department was like saying Ryan Seacrest didn't have great luck in the height department: total understatement.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the hippo squatting on my head.

All men should be required to have their marital status tattooed on their foreheads.

That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus humping butt monkey" - Hartley Featherston

Which leads me to ask...what exactly are you going to do when we get there?" I thought about it. "Rip Josh's nuggets off and feed them to his hamster?

The woman had the IQ of a squash.

Do you, Maddison Louise Springer, take this man as your hunka hunka burning love, to hold tight and be true until you both go to that big 'ol heartbreak hotel in the sky?" Elvis asked me.

After making my way through a bowl full of lawn (Sure, Dana had said it was exotic sautéed greens, but it smelled like the grass in Griffith Park to me.), a cold purée of squash soup (Cold. Squash. Two words that should never be thrown together in the same recipe.), and a platter of seared kelp (I'm sorry, anything that washes up onto the beach is not considered food in my world.), I

Great. Dead bodies, road kill and Toys R Us. Could this day get any better?

Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date. 1. You're wearing that? 2. Something smells funny. 3. Where's the Tylenol? 4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother. 5. I have a confession to make… 6. My dad has a suit just like that. 7. That man is hot. Look at him. 8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever… 9. You're going to order that? Seriously? 10. You're how old?

I'm William, but you can call me Sexy. Everyone does.

You are such a chick." I widened my eyes in mock surprise. "No way. Are you sure?

William: What's your nickname? Maddox: I do not have one. William" I'm happy to give you one. Captain Ass. What do you think? Maddox: I can leave. William: New nickname: Big Baby. Anyway, let's continue...

Cole chuckled, saying, "Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, and fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, but fear of Ali Bell is just called logic.

Ohh, how clever," Aden said and clapped. "A death threat. You know what's funny? That's not even my first of the day.

Who is she, why is she still here and when can I see her naked? Paris asked with an eyebrow wiggle

Look, Winged Wonder. Get me out of here, then we'll hammer out the details about where I'm staying. Okay?" "Winged Wonder," he said, nodding. "I find that I do not mind that one. It fits." "Captain Modesty fits better," she muttered. "I disagree. Winged Wonder is clearly the better choice for a man such as me." -Annabelle and Zacharel

If I had bodily functions, I think I would have peed my pants.

Please, I'd love to meet the guy you couldn't handle, and give him and award.

Girl, he wants to dip you in Frosted Flakes and have you for breakfast. That's his favorite cereal, by the way." I...had no words for that.

Blood spurted from his nose. Okay, I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing.

I've seriously got to stop turning my girlfriends gay, but like I can really help it. It's my animal appeal.