Quotes About Humor

Cool. I'm Kathryn, but everyone calls me Kat. And do not make any cat jokes or I'll have to hurt you. With my claws." she waved the long, blunt tips of her fingers at me. "Truth be told, I stopped speaking meow a long time ago." speaking meow? "I'm guessing calling you pretty kitty is out.

One day," Dane snarled, "I'm going to put your nuts in a grinder and make a testicle salad sandwich.

You have made me more frustrated than a zombie at a salad bar. Fix it!

Where was I?" Kat asked me. "Never mind. Judging by your expression, you're not ready for flirting lessons. I'll just stick with giving you a pick-me-up. Come on. Let's go to Café Bella and drink so many lattes we're peeing coffee for a week.

Clementine nudges my shoulder. "I firmly believe you could hit eleven out of ten targets, with only nine bullets." I snort-laugh. "What?" she says. "It's true. I also believe you could cut a knife with butter." This time, everyone snort-laughs.

What do you think is the problem? You're a cute kid-­Ã¢â'¬Âuh, guy. Man. You're a cute man.

I'd say I can't catch a break, but I'm currently on the back of a zebra

Say goodbye to your PB&J.' At his confused look, I add, 'One day I'm going to knock your penis, brain and jaw right off your-' Slap. Stars wink before my eyes.

I may not be a doctor, but I've watched every episode of House. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing.

Tucker palideció. —Vas a morir por eso. —Oh. Qué listo —dijo Aden, y aplaudió—. Una amenaza de muerte. ¿Y sabes lo más gracioso? Que ni siquiera es la primera que recibo hoy.

Don't take this the wrong way,but I hope you get stabbed again.Like,real soon.I loved kissing you all better.

Haven't you heard? Constipation is the new black. All the cool kids are doing it. Or not doing it.

I'm sorry," she said softly. "Even if you'd looked like you were born downwind of an outhouse, I would have snapped a thousand photos of you. And then used those photos to blackmail you later, but my reasons are inconsequential.

AMUN BLINKED OPEN HIS EYES. Or tried to. The action proved difficult, since his lashes felt as if they'd been glued together. And maybe they had been. If one of his friends had punked him, he was going to retaliate. With scissors.

She gave him a double-birded salute, and he barked out a rusty laugh. I'm laughing. Me. When was the last time that had happened? He couldn't remember. But she kept doing things to amuse him. Shock him, even. Like pulling out a sword and expressing a very real fear about zombies. Zombies.

I am an alien huntress. I am part of the A.I.R. team, working with or against the New Chicago PD—whichever suits me at the time. Every night I stalk and kill other-worlders, and whether I'm investigating a death or causing one myself, I have to shove sentiment aside, find humor where I can, and concentrate on the facts.

Cool. I'm Kathryn, but everyone calls me Kat. And do not make any cat jokes or I'll have to hurt you. With my claws." She waved the long, blunt tips of her fingers at me. "Truth is, I stopped speaking meow a long time ago.

Jaxon tried to hold his amusement back, but soon gave up and burst into guffaws. Even I lost my scowl and had to smile. I was a super bitch. "Fine," Jack said. "Kyrin's yours." Those words affected me on a deep, primal level. Mine, I thought. All mine.

Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date. 1. You're wearing that? 2. Something smells funny. 3. Where's the Tylenol? 4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother. 5. I have a confession to make… 6. My dad has a suit just like that. 7. That man is hot. Look at him. 8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever… 9. You're going to order that? Seriously? 10. You're how old?

He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit. Her nose wrinkled. "Step in something?" she asked innocently. "That I did not mind." He took a menacing step toward her. "What I did mind was being hit by a cab, then landing on the lap of a naked man. With an erection, Anya. He had an erection.

There's a really stupid saying: When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Well, I have a better saying: When life hands you a lemon, shove that lemon up its stupid butt.

I'm William, but you can call me Sexy. Everyone does.

Paris answered for him. "Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again." "I'm surprised you didn't mention the part where you fainted," Lucien said wryly. Strider chortled. "Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!" "Hey," Paris said, frowning at Lucien. "I told you I hit my head midflash." Lucien

Knock him out, Paris!' 'Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I'm at it?