Quotes About Humor

Meow" means "woof" in cat.

He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Do you want the truth or the politically correct version? The truth is that I go plastic, it's so much easier. And I like to put the bags over my head at night when I sleep, which I think all the kids at home should try. Kidding!!

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

In the vain laughter of folly wisdom hears half its applause.

Franklin was an iconoclast, and perhaps best represented the American spirit. He was a serious man. He was not a sober one. Franklin was a party of one and represented the people who loved the country, but he understood that decency required humor.

inofensivo. Soy como una broma pesada

Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie

His stuff . . . Oh. Ha! "In that case, it's hanging long!" Jack dissolved into giggles. "Long, get it?" "My brother, everyone." George bowed to an invisible crowd with a martyred expression. "A refined and sensitive creature.

Sit on him? What kind of battle strategy is that?

Neither did I, but unlike Leon, I would be highly unlikely to shoot each of them through the left eye "for symmetry reasons.

He's my fiancé," I told her. "We are living in sin." Heather blinked, momentarily knocked off her stride, but recovered. "Oh, that's nice." "It's very nice. I highly recommend it.

If you finish eating this food, I'll get you a whole herd of giant donkeys." "That's the strangest bribe I've ever heard of

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. My ears are still ringing from that big boom your head made when it hit the stairs. Is your brain okay? Because your skull sounded hollow.

How is it going with your boyfriend?;););) - text from Grandma Frida

Do men often tell you you're enchanting? No. Men often tell me I hit very hard. Hint, hint.

Catalina," Grandma Frida called out behind me. "When you're done cutting up the body, call me. I'll help you hide it." I turned and looked at her. Grandma flexed her arm. "Ride or die.

Because he doesn't want me talking to my grandmother." Barabas looked at Curran. Curran shrugged. "It's a family thing. Sometimes your father puts your semidead grandmother into a really bad place and is ashamed of it." "Yeah," Barabas said. "We've all been there." "You two are a riot," I told them.

How did your day go?" "I got some head. It was vamp, but still." I stared at her. Kate was the last person I would have expected to make that joke. Well, someone had loosened up since mating. "That good, huh." "Yup.

I'm sorry, but I don't have anyone else to ask. If I go to Connor, my son will hold his relatives upside down one by one and shake them until they confess. Which would be a lot of fun to watch.

I'm in love with an idiot." The dog turned his head to the side. "Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.

Males and farts. Any species, any planet, didn't matter. We