Quotes About Humor

You destroyed five million dollars' worth of luxury cars. Yes, but none of them are wearing human heads as hood ornaments.

The porch light came on and Aunt B swung the door open. Middle-aged and stout, with graying hair rolled into a bun, she looked like she should be baking cookies, not ruling a brood of social deviants with a penchant for hysterical laughter and kinky sex.

Rose pushed on his chest with her hand. "If you let go of me now, I'm going to chalk your mauling of me up to temporary insanity." He kissed her again, lightly brushing her lips. "Declan!" His grass green eyes laughed at her. "I wanted you to be sure that I wasn't temporarily insane.

Kate Daniels and her deadly attack poodle. Kill me, somebody. Julie, my adopted niece, would have a field day with this.

Thomas Hobbes called. He wants his thesis back.

You know, most people would think you were thinking about a girl. They have no idea that her name is bacon.

Males and farts. Any species, any planet, didn't matter.

To answer your question, yes, you may kiss my ass. Normally I prefer to maintain my personal space, but you're a Friend of the Pack and your services have proven useful once or twice. I strive to accommodate the wishes of persons friendly to my people. My only question is, would your kissing my ass be obeisance, grooming, or foreplay?

What kind of a woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'?" he asked.

His T-shirt followed. Yep. Just like I thought. "Before you start dancing, we don't have any cash!" I called. "Woo!" Desandra waved her arms. "Take it off!

Curran grinned at me, his gray eyes happy. "Hey, baby. You come here often?" I laughed. "Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you." He squeezed my hand with his warm fingers. "Smooth," Jynx murmured. Andre winked at her. "Hey, Jynx, your hand—" "Touch me and I'll break you," she told him. "Aww.

Come on, guys, don't just stand there. Grab a spoon and let's get busy." Nobody said anything or moved. "What? How did you think this worked? That I would wiggle my nose and sniff out the poison? If only. No, you eat it and if you die, I can say, 'Yes, it's been poisoned.

If I have to murder Hugh, I don't want to do it naked," he said. "It would be weird.

Are you okay?" "I'm tired. My knee is hurting again and I'm trying to teleport myself upstairs." "Um, Kate, you can't do that." "I know. But I'm trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading?

Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal.

She sighed. "Come on, then, wife. Put on a happy face." "Ugh." She reached over and slid her fingers into the crook of his elbow. "Good God, control yourself, woman. We're in public. At least wait until we're in the bedroom." "Your corpse will grow lovely goldenseal." He laughed again and walked her down to the smithy.

It's all fun and games until the drunk Viking Santa shows up.

Beast Lord, which is a gentle euphemism for a man who strips naked at night and runs around through the woods hunting small woodland creatures.

I don't trust tragedies much. It's easy to make a person sad by showing him something tragic. We all recognize when sad things happen: someone dies, someone loses a loved one, young love is crushed. It's much harder to make a man laugh—what's funny to one person isn't funny to another.

William glanced at her. "Does your sister ground you often?" "No. She mostly does this." Georgie rolled his eyes in perfect imitation of her and muttered, "Why me?

Cassida gifted you a lovely vintage Second Wave toaster for your collection," Matias said. What? Ramona turned to him. "You hacked them through a malignant toaster?" "Yes." She laughed.

Eleven out of twelve work fine. I'd say that's better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try.

Kate, you're a pushover," the clerk said. I leaned over the counter and offered him my best deranged smile. "Wanna push and see if I fall over?

I like that you're jealous." "Rogan, put the car back." "Come to dinner with me tonight and I'll consider it." Yes! "No. I don't negotiate with terrorists." "If you don't go to dinner with me, I'll have to do something drastic like stand by your window with a boom box blasting some idiotically sappy song.