Quotes About Humor

Every woman wants to be wanted - just not by the entire Metropolitan police force.

I don't have to change anything. I think that's the secret to comedy. You want to be universal and appeal to everyone.

Stand-up comedy is mine: it's my entity; it's my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.

I have deep comedic roots, and I want to be funny.

Be careful. I wouldn't want anything to happen to the worst Spanish student in the history of the language." I laughed. "No problemo.

If you don't want me to see, I guess, don't sleep in the same room as me." He looks at her with a sly smile. "But I'm known for sleeping in school. It's my shtick.

Write a smart joke and people want to talk about it and keep the dialogue going. Also, if you can make someone laugh, it's a pronouncement that they like you on some level.

I just had a throwaway part, really, if you think about it. I'm not a natural actor, you know? I'm a comedian, through and through. And I really love my lines. Those are the lines I want to do.

I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.

As an actor I've played a lot of gloomy, romantic leads and even though I might not want to recognize it, I actually really have a sense of humor.

When people ask me what on earth I want to keep two cats for I tell them I keep them to do my resting for me.

People want to bring kids to their level, and they want to make it seem like kids have this thing. It's seen as funny to them.

That's the nature of comedy. You always want to be improving and growing and changing with what's happening in the world. That's when comedy is most effective.

I became a comedian because I didn't want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe.

Comedy is what I really want to do and propel.

Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want.

People that want it to just be funny should not despair, because there is so much true crazy comedy coming up.

And you know, the people who hate kids and don't want kids always end up having 50 of them.

Comedy is important! When youre having a stressful day, and you come home, you want to watch something that makes you laugh.

With stand-up, you can be as freeform as you want to be. You can say what you want, how you want, at any moment without constraint.

And realising that humour is the most powerful way to make a political statement and say the things that you want to say. And it's not used enough, at least not in the U.S.

So I'm into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.

People don't want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That's why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas.

I don't think anyone wants to grow up to be Mindy Lahiri, the same way no one wants to grow up to be Michael Scott.But that's OK.