Quotes About Humor

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

Really, really obscene hip-hop. I love it so much. It makes me laugh and then it makes me want to dance.

You must have a bladder like Lake Erie. I think empires rose and fell in the time it took you to pee. I could hear it the whole time." Thank you. Do you want something?

I keep having these bros come up to me and say, "I used to watch you when I was a fetus," and I just want to kill them.

I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that.

You forgot the 'my precious,'" Anna said dryly. "If you want to act like a freaking nutcase, you have to do it right.

If Kevin James or Paul Giamatti drop weight, I'm done. I don't want to be the last pudge out there.

If all the students who slept through lectures were laid end to end, they'd all be a lot more comfortable. If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Seeing the energy of 'SNL' made me want to be a part of it. If that was a job, I thought, that was the job I wanted. That was my plan. Comedy.

None of us is perfect. Everyone has got a skeleton in the closet that they don't want people to find out. I just let it go, with a bit of humor.

Things that Shane doesn't want on his grave: (1.) I thought it wasn't loaded. (2.) Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank. (3.) Killed over Ice Cream

So while it is true that I find really dark stuff funny sometimes, it's also true that as a writer of books I want to have the whole range of human emotions.

Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor.

If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.

After India's victory in the war he was asked what would have happened if he had opted to be with the Pakistan Army at the time of partition in 1947, he quipped, then I guess Pakistan would have won.

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is the one thing that stops women laughing at them.

I think people can stand to take themselves just a little less seriously. I'm fighting the war against pretension.

It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse.

I think Chris Rock at the Oscars was a great example. I thought that was intellectually hilarious. The Gap starts a war with Banana Republic... That to me was funny.

Sometimes laughin' is all a body can do, child. It's laugh or lose your mind.

Ah, Milk Duds. The official candy of pissed-off fat women everywhere.

Why don't I just hand you my panties and be done with it.

We're only human." "One of us, anyway. The other's a reptile." "Harsh, Annabelle. Very harsh.