Quotes About Humor

The hope is a touch of graceful humor, no matter what's occurring. The ability to laugh, the ability to see the ridiculous, the ability not to tense up too much, when things become impossible, just to face them anyhow. A touch of humor. Let's say laughter through the flame. Or, guts. Courage… Humor, guts, and courage, no matter the odds. We can always face that.

Zircoff, I said, put the tomatoes away. Piss, he said, I wish they were hand grenades.

I went into the crapper and took myself a beautiful beershit. Then I went to bed, jacked off, and slept.

Ich bin ein alter Witz, und schlafe ein.

What kind of d*ck are you? Celine asked. -The best in L.A. -Yes? What's L.A. stand for? -Lost as*holes.

by the way . . . I realize I switch from present to past tense, and if you don't like it . . . ram a nipple up your scrotum. -printer: leave this in.)

Me alegraba de no estar enamorado, de no ser feliz con el mundo. Me gustaba estar en desacuerdo con todo. La gente enamorada a menudo se ponía cortante, peligrosa. Perdían su sentido de la perspectiva. Perdían su sentido del humor. Se ponían nerviosos, psicóticos, aburridos. Incluso se convertían en asesinos.

was glad I wasn't in love, that I wasn't happy with the world. I like being at odds with everything. People in love often become edgy, dangerous. They lose their sense of perspective. They lose their sense of humor. They become nervous, psychotic bores. They even become killers.

I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey.

their lives full of canned, mutilated laughter.

Ma l'aspetto positivo dell'essere un ubriacone è che non eri mai stitico. A volte pensavo al fegato, ma lui non parlava mai, non diceva mai: Smettila tu stai ammazzando me io ammazzerò te Se avessimo il fegato parlante non avremmo bisogno degli Alcolisti Anonimi.

I began counting each fool that passed me. I got up to 50 in two-and-one-half-minutes, then stepped into the next bar.

I view his furry storage tanks – what can a man think about while looking at a cat's nuts? Certainly not the sunken navies of great sea battles.

I finally got dressed. I went to the bathroom and threw some water on my face, combed my hair. If I could only comb that face, I thought, but I can't.

Turguenev era um homem muito sério mas fazia-me rir porque a verdade quando é encontrada pela primeira vez pode ser divertida. Quando a verdade de alguém é semelhante à tua verdade, e parece que está apenas a dizê-la a ti, é fantástico.

Who was Col. Sussex? Just some guy who had to shit like the rest of us.

Nick, que esa cosa tan grande que está ahi empinada mientras hablas conmigo? -Ah, esto! Es mi barriga!

I've been so down in the mouth lately that sometimes when I bend over to lace my shoes there are three tongues.

grinning from asshole to eyebrow.

fun and danger hardly put margarine on the toast or fed the cat. You give up toast and end up eating the cat.

The thing that I fear discriminating against is humor and truth.

THE WORLD IS FULL OF BILLIONS OF ASSHOLES. THE PRESIDENT HAS AN ASSHOLE, THE CARWASH BOY HAS AN ASSHOLE, THE JUDGE AND THE MURDERER HAVE ASSHOLES … EVEN PURPLE STICKPIN HAS AN ASSHOLE!

You are thirty minutes late.' 'Yes.' 'Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a funeral?' 'No.' 'Why not, pray tell?' 'Well, if the funeral was mine I'd have to be on time. If the wedding was mine it would be my funeral.

Che razza di investigatore sei? fece lui. Il migliore di L.A. Ah sì? E che cosa vuol dire L.A.? Leccatori d'Ano.