Quotes About Humor

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

Have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet?' Jace said, "Unfortunately, Lady of the Haven, my one true love remains myself." ..."At least," she said, "you don't have to worry about rejection, Jace Wayland." "Not necessarily. I turn myself down occasionally, just to keep it interesting.

Is this the part where you start tearing off strips of your shirt to bind my wounds?" "If you wanted me to rip my clothes off, you should have just asked.

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace. "It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath." "As soon as I'm back on my feet, handsome," said Simon. "I knew we should have left you a rat.

Remember when you tried to convince me to feed a poultry pie to the mallards in the park to see if you could breed a race of cannibal ducks?" "They ate it too," Will reminisced. "Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.

That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year." "Why?" Isabelle said. "So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.

Declarations of love amuse me. Especially when unrequited.

They're not hideous," said Tessa. Will blinked at her. "What?" "Gideon and Gabriel," said Tessa. "They're really quite good-looking, not hideous at all." "I spoke," said Will, in sepulchral tones, "of the pitch-black inner depths of their souls." Tessa snorted. "And what color do you suppose the inner depths of your soul are, Will Herondale?" "Mauve," said Will.

It wouldn't be my move," Jace agreed. "First the candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hordes. In that order.

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me." "It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.

It's not gray," Clary felt compelled to point out. "It's green." "If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood," said Jace.

You're just worried they'll hire a male instructor and he'll be hotter than you." Jace's eyebrows went up. "Hotter than me?" "It could happen," Clary said, "You know, theoretically." "Theoretically the planet could suddenly crack in half, leaving me on one side and you on the other, forever and tragically parted, but I'm not worried about that either. Some things," Jace said, with his customary crooked smile, "are just too unlikely to dwell upon.

My rapier wit hides my inner pain.

Well, she's not responding to my advances," he observed more brightly than he felt, "so she must be dead." "Or she's a woman of good taste and sense.

I figured all your classes were stuff like Slaughter 101 and Beheading for Beginners." Jace flipped a page. "Very funny, Fray.

Clary felt suddenly annoyed. "When the self-congratulatory part of the evening is over, maybe we could get back to saving my best friend from being exsanguinated to death?" "Exsanguinated," said Jace, impressed. "That's a big word." "And you're a big-" "Tsk tsk," he interupted. "No swearing in church.

It's the mortal cup Jace, not the mortal toilet bowl.

I forgot that's what gets you all hot and bothered, Jace, girls killing things." "I like anyone killing things, especially me." he said with a smile.

So what was that all about?" "I think," Jace said, "that she asked if she could touch my mango." "She said that?" Jace shrugged. "Yeah, then she gave me her number.

We're not dating," Alec said again. "Oh?" Magnus said. "So you're just that friendly with everybody, is that it?

Drowning yourself won't help, she told herself sternly. Now, drowning Will, on the other hand...

I was alive when the Dead Sea was just a lake that was feeling a little poorly.

Going round and around inside a dryer can be fatal, whereas pasta is rarely fatal. Unless Isabelle makes it.

You're not gay, are you?" Simon's greenish color deepened. "If I were, I would dress better.