Quotes About Humor

Eve, did you marry me for my money? You bet your ass. And you'd better hold on to it, or I'm history It's very sweet of you to say so.

I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.

Peabody, you never cease to amaze me. One day I'll tell you about my granny and her five lovers. Five lovers isn't abnormal for a woman's lifetime. Not in her lifetime; last month. All at the same time. Peabody glanced up, deadpan. She's ninety-eight. I hope to take after her.

I'm a barrel of monkeys, kid, though mostly I figure monkeys stuck in a barrel are just going to be pissed off.

That's a lot of vegetables. It is, yes, and if you eat them like a good girl... He lifted the silver lid on another plate, revealed a small pizza, with pepperoni arranged into a smiley face. She tried to give him a stony stare, but the laugh won out. You think you're cute, don't you, pal? Adorable. In this case, you can have adorable. Ow! She managed the stony stare when he slapped her hand away from the pizza. Vegetables first.

Please, Eve, these public displays of affection must stop. I have a reputation." "Keep it up, ace, and I'll give you a public display of affection that'll have you limping for a week." "Now I'm excited.

You're earlier than expected, and appear to have gotten through the day without destroying any article of clothing. I must note this event down on my calendar. Bitch when I'm late, bitch when I'm early. You could go pro on the bitching circuit.

Hey. Hands off.", "Please. Please, please, soooo pretty. Lemme just have one little touch." "Peabody, isn't it embarrassing enough you're wearing pink cowboy boots, again, without standing here drooling on my coat?

Eve: She completely eye-fucked you. Roarke: I know. I feel so cheap and used. Eve: Shit. You got off on it. Men always do. Roarke: True enough, which is why we're so often cheap and used.

Eve: What do you want? Nadine: A man of amazing sexual prowess, great sensitivity, stupendous abs, and the face of an angel. Toss in a wicked sense of humor and stupendous wealth, who adores the very ground I walk on. Oh wait, you already have him.

I'd suggest putting your head between your knees, but I think that's physically impossible for you at the moment.

Wow, colorful. I think the kid's head plowed into me. He came at me like a mortar. Pow! Skull meets tits. Tits lose.

I've decided being eaten alive by anything is my last choice of causes of death." "What's first choice?" "Kicking it at two hundred and twenty, minutes after being sexually satisfied by my thirty-five-year-old Spanish lover, and his twin brother." "There's something to be said for that

I think I've just lost five pounds in fear sweat. Peabody mopped at her face. Now I want a cannoli. I don't know why. With a laugh, Roarke shifted to grin at her. I'll buy you a dozen, precious. Cannolis, for God's sake.

Peabody:] Bite me. Though Eve managed to swallow a chuckle at her aide's use of her own standard response to annoyances, she didn't quite make it over McNab's cheerful, Where?

Why do you always have to put you and McNab and sex in my head? It brings pain no blocker can cure.

I like ass-watching." Peabody settled herself in comfortably."When I see one bigger than mine, it makes me feel good. When I see one smaller, it helps me resist eating a whole bunch of cookies. It's a productive hobby, my ass-watching

Well now, this must be love. You sharing the biscuits." "They're cookies. Biscuits are hot bread you smother in butter or gravy. Remember which side of the Atlantic you're on, ace.

Are you okay? I don't know. I have to think about it. Her head was still spinning. We're on the lawn, she said slowly. Our clothes are torn. I'm pretty sure I have the imprint of your fingers dented into my butt. I did my best, he murmured. She snickered first, then chuckled, then broke into fits of giddy, hiccupping laughter. Jesus, Roarke, Jesus Christ, look at us. In a minute. I think I'm still partially blind.

Eve sucked air through her nose. The next person, the very next person, who says that is going to know my wrath. I'm on a first-name basis with your wrath, sir. I guess this isn't the best time to tell you that McNab and I are thinking of cohabitating. Oh my God. My eye. Desperate, Eve pressed her fist to the twitch. Not while I'm driving.

You know how I love being referred to as your fancy piece." "Sometimes you're my love muffin." He managed a strangled laugh. She could, at the oddest times, surprise him.

Roarke: Pull yourself together, Eve. He was already in a business suit, his hair shining and sleek... Eve: How come you already are? Roarke: Because staying in bed half the morning unless sex is involved is a waste of time. Since you didn't appear to be cooperative in that area, I started my day with coffee instead

Why does there have to be a gift for every damn thing?" Eve complained. "Retail conspiracy." Roarke patted her knee. "I bet it is," Eve said darkly. "I just bet it is.

Listen, if I can manage it, I'll try to swing home this afternoon for a bit. To—I don't know—help you out or something. His smile was warm and gorgeous. See there. You're acting like a wife. Shut up. I like it, he said, backing her against the door. Quite a bit. Next thing I know you'll be down in the kitchen, baking. Next thing you know I'll be kicking your ass, and you'll be the one who needs round-the-clock care. Can we play doctor?