Quotes About Humor

Yes, Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brain. So far you are correct. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat — at least not with certainty. If the specimen composition you send is about your fair usual average, I suggest that perhaps a couple of whales would be all you would want for the present. Not the largest kind, but simply good middling-sized whales.

It's no longer 5:00 somewhere — it's 2020 everywhere. Drink up!

Pickup lines of 2020 — Hey baby, let's quarantine together.

2020 is a unique leap year. There are 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and 5 years in April.

I can't wait until New Year's Day 2021 — then I can say hindsight really is 2020.

I tried acupuncture. But I didn't really get the point.

Cat: a-cute-puncturist.

Acupuncturist: because badass miracle worker isn't an official job title

When life gives you lemons, please, just don't squirt them in other people's eyes.

Hooting and hollering, the crowd reliably responded as if that were the height of humor, while Herman slapped me on the back and nearly fell off his gunnysack seat guffawing and I laughed as hard as if I hadn't heard that mossy joke at every rodeo I had ever been to. Life can tickle you in the ribs surprisingly when it's not digging its thumb in.

One never kids about monkey sex with chocolate sauce.

Mostly I'd like to be taller. If I could be a couple inches taller, just have them stretch me out, my ass would be smaller. Peabody from Secrets in Death

Listen, you mind if I take a T.O. and check in for a sec," he interjected. V's diamond eyes narrowed. "With who?" Right on cue, John jumped in, asking about the Hummer and its rehab plan—like somebody waving a torch in front of a T. rex to redirect it. As V started talking about the SUV's future as lawn sculpture, Qhuinn nearly blew a kiss at his buddy.

If that shit is a Hawaiian print, I'm going to kill you.

The last time it switched the font to Comic Sans, and if that sticks I'm killing myself right here, right now.

Our sense of humor is a gift from God that should be controlled as well as cultivated. Clean, wholesome humor will relax tension and relieve difficult situations. Leaders can use it to displace tension with a sense of normal.

Oh thank you, Jesus. It's Roarke. He tapped a finger on Eve's head. You really shouldn't forget your own husband's name.

Testing, she lifted her hips, let them fall. Oh, for God's sake. We can't do this on a talking bed. Everybody in the house will know what's going on in here. Enjoying himself, he nuzzled at her throat. I believe they already suspect we have sex. Maybe, but that's different than having the bed yell out, 'Whoopee! Was it any wonder he adored her? he thought. Watching her face, he trailed a finger over her breast. We'll have quiet, dignified sex. If sex is dignified it's not being done right.

Roarke: I'll drop you. Eve: No, better I catch a cab or take the underground. This guy sees me show up in a hot car with a fancy piece behind the wheel, he's not going to like me. Roarke: You know how I love being referred. to as your fancy piece. Eve: Sometimes you're my love muffin. He managed a strangled laugh.She could, at the oddest times, surprise him.

You don't need to diet, She-Body. You are a just-right female. McNab? Eve said. Yes, sir. Shut up. It's all right, Dallas. We're a couple. A couple of what? No, don't tell me. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to each other. Let there be silence across the land.

She doesn't like you, McNab. "I knoooow. I find that really attractive in a woman.

How white is an Irishman's ass? Eve wondered out loud. You should know, darling.

you know, I'm only marrying you for sex and food.

I can handle it. But it stinks, if you ask me, really stinks, that you get to go out somewhere drinking beer while I'm stuck at Baby Central. Just because you have a penis. We'll think fondly of you over beer, me and my penis. She ate a little more, then smiled slowly. You've still got to be in the birthing room when she pushes it out. Shut up, Eve. Your penis won't save you then, Pal.