Quotes About Humor

You look as scary as a buttered muffin.

I suppose he could have changed," Neal said dryly. "I myself have noticed my growing resemblance to a daffodil." The other pages snorted. Kel eyed her friend. "You do look yellow around the edges," she told him, her face quite serious. "I hadn't wanted to bring it up." "We daffodils like to have things brought up," Neal said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "It reminds us of spring.

If I am going to die, I might as well die sarcastic.

Always fuck with people's expectations, sunshine. It's good for their circulation.

give my family an inch and they'll move into your house and start redecorating.

The squealing little arse-gerbil.

Ah, dammit to hell and blast and nonspecific fornication" I said, when the rivet went shooting off into the grass again. "Is everyone OK with that?" "What's wrong with nonspecific fornication?" Abby demanded. "I don't like my fornication specific.

She doesn't approve of either sentimentality or graveyard humor at crime scenes. She says they waste time that should be spent working on the damn case, but the implication is that coping strategies are for wimps.

She [88yo Mrs Fitzgerald] crossed herself and patted my arm. "And you're after coming all the way from England to find out who done it? Aren't you great? God bless you, young fella." "The old heretic," I said, when we got outside. Mrs. Fitzgerald had cheered up my day immensely. "I hope I have that much zip when I'm eighty-eight

Breslin gives me his wise-teacher smile, which is kind and crinkly and would make me feel warm all over if I was dumber than a bag of hair.

Sam O'Neill drew a deft little caricature of the two of us as Mulder and Scully (I still have it, somewhere) and Cassie stuck it to the side of her computer, next to a bumper sticker that said BAD COP! NO DOUGHNUT!

Lexie said she was planning to, and I'm quoting, 'kick him in the bollocks so hard he'd have to stick his hand down his throat if he wanted a wank.

I wouldn't say the carpet matches the curtains there," someone else says.

It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else–pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy.

A child said to me 'Do you want to see my penis?' and I said 'Maybe when you're older' and his mom said 'What's wrong with you?' so I said 'Okay, show me your penis now I guess

i recommend the phrase 'pineapple ass

It sometime occurred to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else--pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy.

having 'weakly disturbing' images of waffles with pasta on top

The ability to bring a lightheartedness and humor to our schemas is a powerful way to reframe these weighty thoughts.

I've been doing a lot of drama, but I feel like comedy is my strength.

The two men's stomachs pressed together like a couple of beach balls. For a moment, Puri felt like he was going to get stuck.

when Sabastain asks for a mandake root harvested by the the new moon at crossroads, Garnet responds)...... Why not just ask for it grown under a gallows?

With my eyes on my wife, I would tell the waitress that I liked my coffee like I liked my women, "black and sweet." This always got me a smile. Then Celestial would say, "I like my mimosa like I like my men: transparent.

Sometimes all you can do is laugh." And I did. At first, I was driven by an urge to be polite, to humor an old man, but something in my chest lubricated and I cackled like a crazy person the way you let loose when you suspect that God isn't laughing with you but laughing at you.