Quotes About Humor

Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater? Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain.

I think you're intelligent and charming, and that you're a person with a kind heart. I know that when you want to, you can look more beautiful than anyone I've ever met. You're independent, you've got a good sense of humor, and you show surprising patience with children. -Alex

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

How's it hangin' Harry? I keep trying to die, but they won't let me. Well, you can't have everything.

Angela had done a marvelous job, I tell you. The puke was everywhere except the toilet. The walls, the floor, the sinks - even on the ceiling, though don't ask me how she did that. So there I was, perched on all fours, cleaning up the puke at the homecoming dance in my best blue suit, which was exactly what I had wanted to avoid in the first place. And Jamie, my date, was on all fours, too, doing exactly the same thing.

Doesn't surprise me, Nana snorted. I wouldn't put anything past your late husband. He's not dead, Nana. Nana sighed. Hope springs eternal.

How're the Broncos doing? Like a bunch of carrots. Is that bad? Can carrots play baseball? I guess not. Then you have your answer.

Nana glanced at Ben. I think your mom has catepillars in her ears. She keeps repeating everything I say like she can't hear me.

He put his arms around her. "Well, in my defense, then, whatever I did seemed to work, didn't it?" She sighed. "I suppose." "You suppose?" "What do you want? A medal?" "For starters. A trophy would be nice, too." She smiled. "What do you think you're holding right now?

Oh yeah? What did you have last night? Turkey sandwich on wheat. With a pickle. And the night before? Turkey sandwich on wheat. No pickle. She giggled. What was the last hot meal you cooked? He pretended to rack his brains. Uh...beans and franks. On Monday.

There's always a 'but' when it comes to jobs. Like, I love my job but my colleagues are first-rate, but...a couple of them like to dress like superheroes on the weekend and I can't help but wonder if they're nuts. - Logan

If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music

more time she'd spent with him, the more convinced she became that he was by far the sexiest guy she'd ever met. Who else did she know who could work with his hands the way he did? Who could make her laugh? Who was smart and charming, self-reliant and tender?

Well . . . I mean . . ." Her eyebrows lifted and she looked at him slyly. "You want to ask me about the fan again?" He grinned. She'd never let him live that down.

I think your mom has caterpillars in her ears. She keeps repeating everything I say like she can't hear me.

Our stories are funny because we lived them, and we survived them.

Nobody mountain bikes anymore - or ever did - in comedy, so I have to go by myself.

I, like most of my friends, couldn't believe I bought a mountain called Misery Mountain, because it was so appropriate.

Why is the King of Hearts the only one that hasn't a moustache?

I can't grow a moustache.

I love the basic comedy of growing a moustache.

My husband calls me 'catfish.' He says I'm all mouth and no brains.

I'm just an innocent guy with a dirty mouth, I guess.

I love funny Instagram filters. Where your face changes; your eyes become big, your mouth becomes protruded. I love all of that.