Quotes About Humor

How could I ask for "horse" with a straight face? And, if I were doing heroin, then I'd be a depressed teenager on heroin. I didn't need to be that cliché.

When we got together we would start projects: an alarm clock torn apart and distributed over a wall, a stop-motion video of Lego people having sex, a Web site for pictures of toilets.

The mother I'm completely over but the daughter I love to death. The mother I'd like to love to death." "Heh." "Don't do me any favors; only laugh if it's funny." "It is!

And she bangs her knee against my thigh. Awesome. A girl hasn't done that to me since like fourth grade.

Napravila bih pauzu svaki put kada bi me neka ideja pogodila svojom istinitoscu, ili kad bi me neka recenica gusila mirnom ostrinom. Priznajem: pucala sam od smeha, kao sto sam I poskakivala od sramezljivosti.

Down there between our legs, it's like an entertainment complex in the middle of a sewage system. Who designed that?

Geek e-mail sign-off: No trees were killed to send this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

You could, in principle, perform this stunt if you managed to let forth a powerful and sustained exhaust of flatulence.

First of all, as you know, there are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide everyone into two kinds of people and those who don't. But actually, there are three kinds of people in the world: those who are good at math and those who aren't.

Uranus was almost named George.

consider a spherical cow.

Once Mullah Nasruddin's favorite clock stopped working, so he took it for repair. When the repairperson took the back off the clock and turned it over, a dead fly fell out. "So that's the problem," said Nasruddin. "The little mechanic who operated it has died!

It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.

I'm getting chest pains...You give me chest pains Uncle Willie. It's my fault you get excited. Yes, it's your fault! I only get chest pains on Wednesdays. So come on Tuesdays.

You know what else I did?' he yelled after me as I left. I fingered her! I turned back to look at him. He made me laugh. He pretended to be so confused and helpless, but maybe he was smarter than all of us. 'The inside of a vagina isn't at all what I thought it would feel like,' he shouted excitedly. 'It feels very organized.' Maybe not.

In the field, one quickly learns that everything that was funny at age ten is funny all over again.

He spread out in his chair like a melting shard of Swiss cheese and informed us: "The only lies I'll ever tell are: 'I won't come in your mouth' and 'I'll just rub it around your ass.'" It wasn't a pretty visual.

We ran around the party asking everyone for their opinion on having wallabies as pets. Between the opener and my shirt, within a half hour we were surrounded by women.

So how do you feel about it?" "I'm not upset, but my mom was crying and it's the first time I've ever seen her cry. Dad always wanted whiskey poured on his grave, so my brother said, 'I just hope he doesn't mind me filtering it through my bladder first.'" Mystery

Men are not dogs. We merely think we are and, on occasion, act as if we

She started rubbing my cock, and it felt pretty cool. LOL.

On the other hand, this was a guy who advised students to get over their fear of approaching by walking up to random women and saying, "Hi, I'm Manny the Martian. What's your favorite flavor of bowling ball?" So I really didn't have to worry about looking foolish in front of him. He created fools. At

Elämä oli hänen ja Jumalan välinen sisäpiirivitsi.

She laughed and the ringing bells in her laugh had a hard metallic sound.